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Just wanted to share some reflection I’ve had lately. When I first left I remember how safe I felt eventhough I was sofa surfing. The feeling of being safe when sleeping on friends and family sofas as opposed to “your own bed” how sad.
Once I got my own place I remember in the first week thinking “even if he kills me now it’s been worth leaving, the best days I’ve had in years have been the last few weeks”. How Sad
The days that followed, being me again, reconnecting with family and friends getting back to my hobbies, how happy.
The months that followed, the smear campaign the police, the legal system the fear, how sad.
The months roll on I got by and got stronger, I made good memories, I healed I got better, how great.
Today I have good days I have bad days, I feel good, I feel weak, but above all I feel strong. How great.
My message to anyone on a healing journey right now is, take it as you feel it. Its all relevant. Once you leave its not all plain sailing, but heck its b****y worth it! Xx
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The more posts like this I read the more I wish I could leave.
To just not have to justify why a man has liked a post you put on social media, having to explain where you are going, having to ask permission to go out, to work being scared to come home. Watching the window all day looking for them to return.
Hiding behind fake smiles. These are just small things but Things i always thought were normal in a marriage. Reading posts where youve left and knowing how hard it will be but also how worth it, it is makes me really want to leave I still doubt I will I really do but gosh they give me a sprinkle of hope . Thank you so much for sharing. Xxxxx -
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