Heart broken

[shine bright 2]

The picture they sent made me go backwards. I went back to my old habbit.
I went to work and i found out someone has been saying that they can ask me to do anything because im “fragile” that i cant do extra work and that im “protected by managment.I thought this person qas my friend. There was something a few weeks ago where she bruised arm and then she said ” i could say my husband did it ha ha” im so upset. Im good at m
Y job and never ask fo any special treatmebt other than i had abit of time off for court and stuff.
I feel so crushed. It been over a year since i did anything to myself..and now someone i thought was a friend let medown. What yhe point?

[shine bright 2]

Please can someone talk??

[Confused123]

Hey Hun

There will always be times when we are set of by triggers, i know the comments hurt, i suppose this just teaches us to be more weary of what we disclose and to who. Dont lose hope, your ex was just a very evil person, talk to us and we will try support u as much as we can. As to this person making the inappropriate comments i would stay away from her/him and sometimes the only we can shut people up like this is saying thats your opinion , my opinion differs to yours and walk off, sending u hug of support

[Confused123]

I have been out just over (detail removed by Moderator) and peoples comments get to me some times,so please dont think you arew a year out u shgould be over what u experienced, u went through a lot of trauma, i was the same after a year, i should be over this now n*d be able to deal with it, but it takes time, i got told the saem not to exepct over night recovery, but i can promise u as time goes on u do get stronger, it does get easier and always remember u r so much stronger than u beleive, focus on you escaped with your kids

[shine bright 2]

Hi confused,
Thanks.Bad, bad few days. Feeling ao hurt. Cant get me head round it all. Why wud someone want aomeone to hurt their self. Why wud u send that like a hint…a message..go on do it. That what it was. Feel such a huge failure and scared that one day i will do some real damage. Im so ashamed of myself that this is what i am and that my kids will see. I lie to them anyway. I told them.the scars on my back are from.a.car crash.sometimes life just hurts too much.

[Peaceful Pig]

Hi Shinebright, he sent you the picture because he can’t get to you directly. My ex never hurt me physically but instead caused me to hurt myself and enjoyed the thrill and power trip of seeing me do it. These are sick people. We can’t compare them to any normal moral standards. Unfortunately we continue to torture ourselves long after our abusers stop, we have grown comfortable with the pain somehow. But please don’t let him win. Even if you do feel unable to resist self harming, it is still entirely his shame and you have nothing to berate yourself for. It is not’who you are’, but just a perfectly understandable coping strategy that you use when your ex is around. When he’s not around you don’t need to do it. You are still winning because you’re not him and you’re not with him. As for your colleague, let her go, she is no loss. She is probably jealous and in awe of how you do so well despite everything. You do not need to be around such horrible insensitivity right now. You are certainly not a failure but a huge success as a parent, at your job and as a woman. Maybe go back to whatever self-care methods helped you before, you need heaps of self-love at these times. Sending hugs x*x

[shine bright 2]

Thanks pp. So much needed to hear those words. Eyes are sore from crying, arms are sore, jaw hurts from clenching my teeth..but thaoe words are like a hug..thank u. My bodys such a mess..bont think it will ever recover. (detail removed by Moderator) and im done in.Ive cried myself in
To a kind of peace. Sometimes it feels.like.i have no.one. My colleague i considered a friend. We went to each other houses and our kids played together…i.guess i just have to rise above it. Hard. This is where i come when thigs are bad and i never forget the help.i had from.people here. I hope i can stay strong. Last night i got weak again and im disappointed in myself. Times like.now i wish for my mum…sometimes i dream that they are alive again and rescued me . I hope they wudda done this…not like eveeyone else saying go back to him. I know they pushed me to marry because they didnt want a bad reputation that we are spending time together and everything but i know they wouldnt let him do what he did.I hope i can keep going…cos.my kids need me.

[Peaceful Pig]

If you can keep going through all you have so far I have no doubt you can get through this blip. It really does hurt so much when so-called friends let you down after we’ve already lost so much. I had a good friend who supported my leaving my ex but then when I started to understand what had happened to me as a child she backed off suddenly. It was so hurtful and really didn’t help my feelings of shame. I guess she couldn’t handle it, maybe she has her own unresolved stuff. Please don’t say you got weak. Nothing about what you’re dealing with is weak, it takes incredible strength. What you’re doing is coping. I well know that feeling of wishing for a mother (not one like my actual mother obviously!). Slowly you’ll come to be your own best friend and mother, as you start to believe in yourself. I don’t know if your faith has a concept of a spiritual mother but mine does and I also find that a great comfort x*x

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