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I feel physically sick. After only (detail removed by moderator) since he moved out. He came to say (detail removed by moderator). It hurts so much that he would even think of moving on already. I know I chose to split because of the emotional abuse. I just wanted him to hug me and in some ways wanted to take him back. I suppose this could still be 1 of his games. I haven’t stopped crying after he told me. What do I do. I do still love him but I also spent a lot of time crying when I was with him.
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Mind games my love. My husband was a master of mind games. He got a kick out of the fact 2 women wanted him and he played me for a fool. I KNOW it hurts and you want him back but you want something that he can’t give you which is respect, unconditional love and kindness.
Please believe me when I say you’re better off without him.
Don’t have any contact with him if possible.
It will get easier. Promise. Xx -
This is a typical tactic they use. It’s more mind games. Called triangulation. Absolutely zero contact is the only way to break free from these men. Read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. If you stick to your original decision which was the right one, you will see his tactics change. When triangulation doesn’t work, he will try another tactic. Maybe playing the depressed victim. Or threatening to remove financial support etc etc. It’s all about regaining control. I always ask myself, would I treat someone that way? Would I be concerned about a new relationship so quickly and even if I was would I rub it in the nose of my ex partner. No. It’s a horrible nasty game they play that destroys out self esteem, leaves us totally confused. He is not a nice person, you will be so much better off without that kind of dysfunctional abuse in your life. As human beings we crave what is normal and familiar to us, even if it’s pain and dysfunction. So try to educate yourself on trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, Gaslighting. Know your enemy x
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I never recognised this tactic at all when this happened to me. I can remember getting a call from himat work saying ‘guess what ive met the most amazing new girlfriend’ shes so clever and funny and (detail removed by moderator)! very sick looking back considering he had stalked me for months after our split – i was already scared and broken then this a final slap in the face. All intentional ; and very hard to believe but true. have a look at this article it explains this really well it also gives us an insight into the fact that these men purely see women as just objects not human beings – that actually can give us some comfort because this is not personal this is about power ; this is something I read recently – shahida arabi three powerful ways to heal from the toxic triangulation of narcassists xx hang in there because this is a fasade in his mind to punish you – no contact is the only way to protect yourself xx diymum
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Hi there lovely lady, please don’t be heartbroken. This man is not worth your tears.you have been so strong in breaking of this relationship💪💜 Would you torment someone you supposedly loved in this way in the hope that they’d fall back at your feet begging fir you to come back? I’ve allowed boys and men to treat me this way all my life, my husband tells me often that if I don’t give him sex he’ll find someone who will(triangulation) it was only yesterday looking back over my romantic! life that I realised most of the boys/ men I was involved with had girlfriends,were engaged, one was married (detail removed by moderator) I ended up moving away for work to get him out my system and he still managed to find me and contact me! I always broke up when I found out they were involved but sometimes I didn’t even do that straight away. I thought if I gave them what they wanted they’d love me best but they never did. Obviously I’ve been searching for love because of something that happened in my childhood(which had been addressed).
I just wanted to say we know how you’re feeling, but thankfully you’re not married, have a mortgage or babies with this man cos it’s a whole lot harder, nigh on impossible to leave then. You are amazing and worth so much more than what hes offering you.💜💜
IWMB 💕💕 -
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Horrible mind games hun, this is exactly what he wants. You dont need a man that makes you feel sad and hurt. You are stronger than him and can rise above this and enjoy your life now. Give yourself time and use your support network to help you and support you, they will be there to listen and be the shoulder to cry on, not a man that has treated you badly. x
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When I sit from my ex he told me that when he met me he had two wownen on the go and he dropped them for me.
The irony is he had two (detail removed by moderator) when we were at the end of our relationship.
So I understand your hurt but rest assured that it’s not a real relationship he’s playing another game, grooming another woman. Go no contact and take back control. You will miss him but it is likely the fantasy you miss. You deserve so much more. And o s day someone will deserve your heat.
Stay strong x -
After my partner did a terrible thing to me he then went AWOL for weeks and backed right away from me and I suspect did he have someone else in the line or was he doing it to mess with my head. He gave me everything and then stripped it all away like it was never there in the first place. He became a completely different person. I was still sleeping with him but the connection is not there for me now and I had so much love for him. When I look at him now I have fear and disrespect and he’s gotten worse with me and I hate him for what he’s done. He has almost destroyed me and I am exhausted and haven’t eaten or slept properly for months. Blaming myself for tipping him over the edge but I’ve started to see it differently. I still love him and it’s so sad.
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Hi peacethroughhealing, I’m glad you’re seeing you’re not to blame for his behaviour to you💞 it takes time to begin to eat, sleep, function again, once we realise what it is we’re living with. Somedays it seems we’ve turned the corner and then it hits like a tonne of bricks again. But we do get through those days, slowly, slowly we begin to emerge, even while still living with them, which I am. I have nothing but contempt and disdain for my husband. I do fear what he could do, but I don’t fear him, if that makes sense. Once the connection goes, sleeping with them gets harder and harder. Once they terrify us, we begin to withdraw from them emotionally, so of course in their heads it’s out fault they’re the way they are cos we don’t show we love them!!!
Once we are no longer emotionally connected to them, staying with them becomes harder and we do eventually leave. It’s just a long road to get away from them. Being safe is paramount at all times.
Best IWMB 💕💕
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