Hello

[Amibelle]

Hi Everyone,

I just would like to share my situation. I feel like I’m going around in circles with no end in sight.
I split from my ex (detail removed by moderator) years ago, we have a daughter together who’s (detail removed by moderator). We jointly own a share ownership property which I currently
Live in.
He was abusive through out the relationship. He would flip over the smallest thing and then shout for hours and hours threatening to hurt me. Throwing objects and breaking things. It was scary.
Eventually I left when these incidents were becoming more frequent but even now he is still emotionally abusive and threatening towards me even with the boundaries I have put in place. He uses my daughter as a tool to threaten me. He threatens to pull her out of nursery last week unless I agreed he could take her camping. (And he did turn up and take her) He threatens to withhold payments, he threatens to come over to my flat (and legally he can because he owns it)
I’ve reported him to the police for harassment but haven’t heard anything back for weeks.
I have concerns about his contact with my daughter after an episode of rage in front of her recently but my problem is, Social Services will not intervene to help me safeguard her. They told me to stop contact but He as parental responsibility so he could take her when he wants and I can do nothing but worry that he won’t bring her back and I cannot get legal aid (even though I’m on Universal Credit)
to get an injunction or a prohibited steps order
I feel at a loose to how I can protect myself from this abuse and safeguard me
Daughter.
If anyone has any insight they would like to share that would be so helpful

 

[Twisted Sister]

Dear Amibelle

Its free to get a non-molestation order ex parte, ask the court (phone them) for a prohibitive steps order also as part of your non-mol.

Do keep posting for support and advice. You are not alone in this.

Warmest wishes

TS

[KIP.]

I think a visit to a family solicitor and get a court contact order in place for visitation. At least you will know where you stand legally. Keep a detailed journal of all the threats and abuse. If you have a contact order then he doesnt need to keep contacting you. If you have a third party who he can use as a point of contact that would prevent his direct abuse and manipulation. Perhaps a family member could arrange things via email. Or if you need to have contact then set up an email account just for his contact. Then you will have a written record of his behaviour. Try ringing Rights of Women for free advice and have a look on their website. You can get an occupation order too preventing him from returning to the home if you have evidence of his abuse. The fact that social service have told you to stop contact is a good thing. Tell the solicitor this and emphasise your fear for your safety and your daughters. Raging in front of her is child abuse. Not to mention putting you in a state of fear and distress. I know it’s hard to stand up to this kind of bully but get all the help behind you. Women’s aid are fantastic. Ring the helpline number on here x

[Amibelle]

Thank you for taking time out to message me, I have the forms to complete non mal order hopefully they will agree to a prohibited steps order. Fingers crossed! X

[Twisted Sister]

If you withhold contact, he will have to go for the orders.

Ss have advised this. So get your nonmol, free, ans he can male a court application for contact if he wants an order. Ss have advised well i think. This will then be his costs.

[KIP.]

Great advice TS. I didnt think of it that way. I’m assuming that the prohibitive order will include access to the child so he cannot just take her away and use his right as a parent? So it’s important to keep every shred of evidence and maybe get it in writing from SS that they have advised this course of action? Maybe ask for a supporting letter from them?

[Twisted Sister]

Thank you KIP, yours also!

[Amibelle]

Ironically I had a letter from his solicitor threatening me with a Prohibited steps order! Basically, he cannot afford to pay the amount of child support he’s been paying and cannot wait until (detail removed by moderator)when I can work full-time, so I can longer afford the mortgage payments and have to move closer to parents.
This is why he’s threatened me with the Prohibited steps. So he wants to make me homeless but wants his daughter to stay in (detail removed by moderator) which is unaffordable for me at the moment. It’s a nightmare!

[Author]

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