Hello all – another newbie

[Knackered]

Hello.  Left with police assistance over (detail removed by moderator) and trying to build a new life after mainly emotional abuse and controlling behaviour towards myself and child.  Ongoing police investigation with him on bail and now family court as ex says I’m the abusive one.  (detail removed by moderator)  I guess I can’t say too much with an ongoing investigation.  As my child says, why are we the ones that had to leave and why does he get to stay in our home?  We had to leave our elderly cat too that we miss and start again.

Whilst we ae settling in to a new area and school and I am working, I know divorce will be horrendous and he will play the victim again.  It could have been so different if he recognised what he was doing and attempted to change.  It doesn’t help that after an inheritance I am now funding not only rent and expenses here but continuing to fund the old home as I’m told I should as he is classed as disabled and refuses to work as he says why should he work for minimum wage.   Money will soon run out after paying for solicitors as well.

I guess I’m mourning what we should have had and didn’t and now won’t.  I don’t miss him at all but my child does.  It’s calmer and I can put the washing machine on whenever I want!

[Sad and alone]

Hello and welcome!
It sounds like an exhausting time but you have made such progress. Leaving seems like the biggest challenge but I read so many posts that am now realising it’s just the start. I’m sorry about your cat too, can absolutely sympathise with that situation.

It is a shame that they can’t or won’t see what they’re doing. I am still in my relationship, cycling round and round, and during those periods of peace you start to think right, I’m going to make a real effort, I want my life as I know it to work out. Then there’ll be an incident and their underlying self is revealed and you get knocked down again. They’ll never change as they don’t see they have to, it’s always you that needs to change. And even if you try your best you will never please them. It’s very hard to accept that, especially when things seem “normal”.

Hopefully you will gain insight and strength from others on here that are in the same position as you xx

[Knackered]

Thank you.  I hope you find peace xx

[Author]

Posts