- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
-
28th December 2019 at 2:07 pm #94370
endoftether
ParticipantHi
I am new here and have found it helpful to read other posts so thanks everyone for being involved. I am going to post more in the forum for over 50s as that is me! I’d say I am living with two men – Mr. Drunk and Mr. Sober. Mr. Sober is a wonderful man who has done nothing but work very very hard to raise his family. We have been together just over 6 years and things have gradually changed to a point which is unrecognisable. He drinks pretty much every night and that is when he can say terrible things. When he’s sober he rolls over in bed and starts cuddling me like nothing has happened. He expects me to want to have sex with him but because I am menopausal anyway and because he has been awful to me I don’t feel like it. That causes even more problems. I am going to elaborate more in the 50+ forum but for now I feel like I am going to leave. He has had plenty warning. I just want a bit of advice on how to go about it as we have bought a house together.
One option would be just to up sticks and go off somewhere like a spiritual retreat for a month or two so it hits home to him harder. The issue with that is I have a pet as does he and I’m not sure I fully trust him to look after mine properly.
I am thinking more and more that I want to either go to the police or a lawyer. Where would I stand regarding forcing him to sell the house so I can get my money back and move back to normality.
Thanks.
-
28th December 2019 at 3:22 pm #94374
Anonymous
InactiveHi EOT,
I’m new to this forum as well. Free for months but starting to unravel and finding this forum so helpful.
I would never want to give advice. I’m not qualified but can only share my experience.
I reached breaking point after trying every thing I could to make this false life work. When I decided to get out I planned it for months and months as I was so scared of the backlash and so ashamed. I was outwardly calm but inwardly used my utter hatred of him to fuel my plans until I was ready to pull the trigger. By which point I had built a little support network as the shame of my situation paled into the horror of the thought of living like I was.
The hatred I felt was a useful clarifying tool to let me seek advice on finances, living situation so we both had somewhere to land.
After freedom day the sheer scale of the terrible emotional bond I had with this thing knocked me for six and I had overestimated my own strength. With help I am free and starting to rebuild with no contact. I have a long way to go but somewhere to start.
The retreat sounds great but what then? What do you come back to? Well done for making the decision to get out – make sure you are ready to stay out.
Like I said not advice. Just my thoughts.
Much love and strength to you xx
-
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.