Hello, I’m new here. I’m amazed I’m still alive…

[tallybee]

I am happy to have found these forums. My children and I have been supported by Women’s Aid over the last year or so. I would describe myself as a serial survivor. All three of my children’s dads are or were perpetrators, and another perpetrator who I married, he’s been dead over (removed by moderator)  years now, suicide. They’ve tried to destroy me. I won’t go into detail as some of it is very distressing. My GP says I have PTSD. I completed the Freedom Programme and it opened my eyes. But with the children I can’t truly be free because the dads use PR to continue the control. It’s incredibly tough and I have some days where I feel completely desolate, hopeless and futile… but other days are full of joy. The children are my world, I can’t imagine life without them, I don’t feel like I deserve them, I have so much conflict about everything in my head… if I had done the Freedom Programme years ago and avoided being abused then my daughters would not exist as I wouldn’t have stuck with their dads, I would have walked away at earlier warning signs. I live with a lot of intrusive thoughts. I have good friends. My mum died young, before I had my children, it was that that sent me off on the downward spiral ending up with me settling for being abused. I could ramble for ages but should stop here… haha anyway thanks for reading.

[Peaceful Pig]

Hi tallybee, bless you, one abuser is quite hellish enough so how you are managing the ongoing controlling tactics of three of them I don’t know. I take my hat off to you. Have you had any DV counselling or treatment for the PTSD? I have found it made such a difference to my symptoms xx

[Confused123]

hi hun

welcome to the site, we all support each another here regardless to what stage we are, please post as much as u need to , we all guide each anothe3r as mucha s possible n*d we all relate to each another

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi tallybee

My hats off too! wow I struggle with one abuser so the strength you have to keep going with all you have on your plate is an inspiration. Keep posting on here the ladies are fantastic

Fsc xx

[Nova]

Hi Tallybee…& welcome, as been said we are all here for each other. Your free to post on here and we will listen we ‘ get it’ and will do our best to help out 🌻

Best wishes

Cuppa X

[tallybee]

Thanks so much for your replies. It is nice to know others understand, though I hate that so many of us have been through such awful abuse.
I find that helping other women through helping facilitate FP actually helps me more than counselling.

[Bettybird]

Wow…. I think youre amazing. x

[Author]

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