Hello- My Introduction

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone! I’m new to the forum, in fact new to forums in general. I decided to join one and reach out to aid in my recovery.

I’m (detail removed by moderator), I met my ex-husband at (detail removed by moderator), married at (detail removed by moderator), (detail removed by moderator) kids (that I adore) by (detail removed by moderator). We were together (detail removed by moderator) years until I just couldn’t take it anymore and I finally made the decision I had been wanting to make for years, I left.

He was my first and only boyfriend and I know it sounds crazy but I had nothing else to compare it to, so for a long time I didn’t even know I was in an abusive relationship, I guess I just thought this was the norm.

Our relationship started out volatile. But there was a brief period of “courting” where he was pretty amazing. Once we moved in together he slowly isolated me. My only friends were his friends, my family his family, all others faded away.

Being isolated, young, and in love I just continued to go by his rules. He would dictate everything. The house needed to be perfect, I needed to look perfect. I had to dress a certain way do my hair and makeup a certain way. At first I thought all this control was care and that it was sweet. I just didn’t realize.

As years went by it got much worse. The last (detail removed by moderator) years were the absolute worst. I went from physical abuse once in a while to beatings daily. He would slam me to the floor, bust my lip, slam my arm in the car door, choke me (one night until I had a seizure even), stomp my ribs and chest, it goes on and on. He belittled me constantly, spitting in my face and even making me weigh myself.

He eventually began insisting we would have an open relationship. He didn’t just want that he wanted me to have relations with other people and watch. I had only ever been with him in my whole life and I didn’t want this I was very against it. He even brought home a man he met from the internet. It was all very disturbing to me.

I suffered lots of physical, mental, sexual, and emotional abuse. But I must say the mental side of it is the worst. There are parts of me even now that I’m gone that are broken. I apologize for everything I am very passive in that way. I’m really just learning who I am, what I like, what I like to wear, all of it.

The silver lining is my beautiful girls. I would be lost without them. He of course is an absent father, they are much better off this way. He was in fact substantiated for child abuse as well later on. (detail removed by moderator) I am very glad he has chosen to walk away.

[Escapee]

Hi FS 😊

Welcome to this wonderfully supportive forum – there are some truly amazing and heroic women on here and when you’re so low you don’t feel you can go on they’re right there giving you a lift and cheering you onwards with your road to escape and recovery.

It sounds like you have been to hell and back! I stand and salute you for being so brave for so long and still finding the strength to get out.

I hope you have a ball exploring who you are – embrace it and remember to say stuff it to others opinions – if you want pink hair you go for it girl – anything goes when you need to learn who you are (I bet the girls would approve of pink hair 😂).

I was fortunate in that I only experienced physical abuse briefly and not to a huge extent that left injuries but the emotional, psychological and sexual abuse has left me wiped out, confused and fighting hard to get through the recovery part so I can become me again (though a wiser and more knowledgeable me!)

I hope you find a lot of support and feeling of belonging from us on here x*x

[Alittlelost]

Welcome. I hope to find some bravery like u have to leave my relationship. Some aspects of ur story sounds similar to mine except im still with my partner.
I hope u find the support u need here.everyones lovely.

[KIP.]

Surviving survival is difficult too. We need to rewire our brains. Learn how to trust, to assert ourselves, to feel confident, to raise our self esteem, to reintegrate into society. I felt like a hostage who had been released after being captive for over two decades. Everything was a struggle. Opening mail with his name on triggered me. I just want you to know that you can recover from this. It takes hard work and dedication. I’ve been free several years now and I’m just beginning to feel anything like comfortable with life but it’s so worth the journey. Living a half life with an abuser is simply a waste when you realise you can have a much better, productive life without them. Without them we are everything without us they are nothing x

[Author]

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