11th September 2020 at 2:52 pm #113469GreyedoutBlossomParticipant
I want to say hello to you all, and if you are reading this I hope you will find help, and stay strong <3 The best advice I can give is to stay strong, and just make it until the next day. Then the next, and just keep going. Don’t give up.
I have been suffering for a long time now. My abuser was extremely manipulative emotionally and physically abusive, and as you all know it gets worse. but as time goes on you are also blinded and confused. My abuser made it up to me after he assaulted me with tea and biscuits, gifts, and tears. He used his past as an excuse for his actions and I felt sorry for him. over time he isolated me friends and family, so I no one to go to. it was as if the emotional abuse was the web he trapped me in, and the physical abuse was when he sucked me dry of everything. he was like a nasty spider who could talk, and I could never leave his grasp. over time the assaults got more severe, and this time that just happened I feared for my life as he choked me out. He was caught by police on camera
He isn’t aloud near me now or to contact me and he is awaiting his charges. I cant wait until the day this all behind me and I am free. No more pain or trauma. No more guilt and worry.
I hope you all get the justice you deserve and remember that if he shouts and screams at you, its abuse. If he asks you for screenshots of where you are all the time, its abuse. If he rings you non stop to see where you, who you are with, what you are doing its still abuse. He has no right to dictate to you about anything you can do in your life, regarding makeup, what you wear, who you see (even if it is a male friend!), what you post on social media, and what you do for fun (etc going out, spending time with friends). If he guilt trips you, and makes you feel in the wrong for doing what makes you happy, its abuse. I just wanted you to know this, its not just physical abuse that hurts, its controlling behavior, emotional manipulation, and blackmail.
I wish you all the very best because that’s what you all deserve, we are all in this together so if you need me I’ll be right here.
11th September 2020 at 3:23 pm #113473KIP.Participant
Hello and welcome and thank you for sharing such an honest post. I do hope you get the justice you deserve, it’s such a difficult time for you. I’ve been through the court process too. It was worth it just to let him know I wasn’t going to keep quiet any longer. He picked the wrong victim this time. Gather a good support network from victim support, your GP, women’s aid. Any family and friends that understand and some good counselling if you can x
11th September 2020 at 3:35 pm #113475GreyedoutBlossomParticipant
Hello, thankyou for your reply! I am really grateful, I am happy to hear you took him to court, I hope you got the justice you deserved. Court is very confusing for me at the moment, when you gave a statement did you give them your phone and all your evidence? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too :)but any sort of advice about giving evidence I would be grateful for. Thankyou for that advice aswell. I have this account, and I have been talking with friends aswell for support.
11th September 2020 at 9:07 pm #113511BeautifuldayParticipant
thank you so much for sharing your story and welcome to the forum xx
11th September 2020 at 9:39 pm #113514LisaMain Moderator
Welcome. It’s great to hear how far you’ve come and so thank you for sharing your experience and expressing such a positive message for other women here. Many will relate and can be inspired by learning how you’ve overcome (and no doubt, continue to do so) the abuse that was clearly devastating.
Do continue to post here as you move forward for any help you may need as well. As the others have said here, I hope charges are made and justice is served. Know there are specialist services available if you are in need of any on-going support.
All the best,
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