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    • #126434
      PinkJLady
      Participant

      Hello, I’m a new member to this forum. I’m (detail removed by moderator). Naturally after we met in (detail removed by moderator) because his parents didn’t care, we saved up to get married (apartment, furniture, wedding, everything with nobody’s help because my mother was poor and his parents were cheap) because I wanted to escape the control that my mother had over me (I wasn’t allowed to go to College/University to (detail removed by moderator); she forced me to take (detail removed by moderator) to live her life)–My family approved and I did what I thought was expected. My heart wasn’t honestly in it. After 10 years I knew that I had enough but then he had an accident at work. I thought God was giving us a second chance. I made him go to marriage counseling because his perpetual rages upset and frightened me (he would chase me around the house attempting to confront/argue and I had to literally put heavy furniture in front of the door–I was very strong for a 125 pound lady!). Finally I saw how it was affecting the kids, the verbal abuse, put downs, and he was always picking on them, too. None of us were ever good enough. My parents divorced when I was (detail removed by moderator) after he beat her for 14 years, us, and even our pets. I moved to England with my grown children’s blessing ‘to go be happy because Daddy never did”, and it seems now that it’s over 15 years, I not only knew that my ex was a sociopath (told to me by two psychologists) but both men are n*********s. I believe my family are, and why I no longer keep in touch except 1 brother and a few cousins. My current husband is (detail removed by moderator) older and I’ve become his carer for the past (detail removed by moderator), and being home with him, although we constantly argued all of our marriage, it’s really taking it’s toll on me after so long. I can’t leave, because I’m in debt and I have no income now to speak of. His family are not supportive and wouldn’t believe that he was the problem because like my family and my ex, they behave differently around other people. My current husband believes in sweeping everything under the carpet and starting over, which it’s always the same and it continues. I honestly think that he only wants me here so he is not alone (his wife died (detail removed by moderator), a year after I married my first husband), to cook/clean (he never has since I moved here) and to be his lover (he actually didn’t want to marry me after I moved here and I told him that I would go back home as I had a 6-month fiancee Visa to marry him. He finally agreed on a date before it expired. I’m tired of the name-calling, mutterings under his breath, and now that he’s in his (detail removed by moderator), he’s going deaf but doesn’t do anything about it, and his disability is becoming worse. I have agoraphobia and a balance disorder, and I feel taken for granted once more. I’m very giving, but for once, it would be nice to be taken care of and appreciated instead of feeling rejected and ‘odd’ because of my disability (detail removed by moderator). Thank you for listening.

    • #126441
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi beautiful Angel… PinkJlady,
      Welcome to the forum, the ladies are brilliant on here and will offer you lots of great support and advice… your words will be heard.
      Well done for posting, putting everything in writing is a good start and this is a safe place to share.
      This is where your journey begins, just by posting you are empowering yourself and slowly slowly you will start to build on this.
      Keep connected and keep posting
      Sending you continued love and support
      Darcy xx

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