Help

[JustHadEnough]

I’ve secured a rental property but don’t get the keys until Thursday. My abusing husband now knows we are definitely leaving and he’s trying the things under the sun to bully me to stay ie playing the victim, shouting screaming threatening me, slamming stuff around and swearing and generally highlighting the reasons why I’m leaving him. What are my rights to get back into the house to collect all mine and my sons belongings if I have to leave and move in with my mum in the meantime? He’s saying he will change the locks and not allow me access. It’s his tenancy but the landlord has always known we moved in as a married couple it’s just solely in his name.
Help I need to know I can get back and get all my furniture and stuff I can’t fit into my car right now. Or if he is making me feel intimidated should I call the police ?

[Same-again]

Call the police – definitely. Without a doubt. Now. His behaviour is abusive. Maybe record it first – then call them.
They are on to DV/DA wise.

Record him, call them. Honestly, it will escalate.

They hate being left.

[iliketea]

Could you find a removal company who could come asap, tomorrow? and then ask the police to be there when you go? Im not sure they referee in terms of who takes what but they are there to keep you safe..so depending how much there is make sure they’re there just when you’re ready to actually go. If you’ve got the removal people there hopefully he wouldn’t do anything. But agree, its the most dangerous time. Could you tell him you’ve changed your mind maybe? And then wait until he’s not there to go?

[JustHadEnough]

Thanks ladies, he won’t leave and works from home for last 15 weeks and has barely left the house. I know the police will only come if there’s a threat of breach of the peace and only when I’m actually leaving but not packing stuff into a van etc.
Normally he would be in work and things would work out beautifully as I’d have time to leave safely. He has no friends or family anywhere near so he will hang around to annoy me and antagonise me further. Each time he’s abusive I start to record on my phone and he stops.
I know he won’t be reasonable and agree what to take and what stays with him so I may just have to have a witness and start removing stuff and if he kicks off call the police??? I’ve called the rental agents and I can’t get in there any quicker either so I’m stuck in the middle unless I do something he isn’t expecting???

[Soulsearcher18]

* You definitely need to call and log with police now- don’t delay that. You would be safest to get out and go to your mums. *
Are you supported by your local domestic abuse service- do they have a 24 hour duty support line? x

[JustHadEnough]

Yes I am supported by local DA team, I didn’t realise I could do that. I’m going to plan to be out of the house with my son as much as possible but I also need to be here to pack things- I’ll ask my mum to look after my son until Thursday so I know he’s safe and I’ll keep myself busy sorting the packing and arranging a van here.

[Lisa]

Hi JustHadEnough,

Even if it his name on the tenancy you will most likely have marital rights to the property, so even if he changes the locks the police should be able to let you back in. Iliketea and sameagain are right; the most dangerous time for a woman is leaving so if you feel able to report this to the police then that may be a good plan. You could call them on 101 (the non-emergency number) and let them know of your plan to leave. Your local domestic abuse team may also be able to give you some advocacy and help you access a police escort for when you are leaving to make sure he doesn’t escalate.

Don’t hesitate to call 999 in an emergency either; this can be a scary thing to do but the police are there to keep you safe and it sounds like his behaviour has been escalating.

Take care, and keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on,

Lisa

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