Help

[RXRX]

Sick of being told I have to leave and leave my daughter. I have another child who isn’t his. He picks fault with him all the time and I think he starting to affect his mental health.

I get told where I can and can’t go with my daughter. He has money. Said he will take her full time and I wouldn’t stand a chance.

He works from home, he barely lets her out his sight I hardly never get time with her, it’s horrible. Feels like I’m walking on eggshells constantly, and I’m pregnant again.

What do I do?

[Chocolatebunnie]

Hi RXRX sending you a hug I can hear how you’re feeling in what you right.

You need to get support. Firstly womensaid ting the helpline and local services

The other ladies on here may have better advice.

But I see that he is a very controlling man and clearly abusing you and your children.

He is controlling you even down to your relationship with your own daughter and you are pregnant.

I would not let him know how you feel but I think women’s aid wPike be there to support you leaving your husband safely.

I hope others can help you more but definitely reach out as much as possible.

Keep posting too as would like to know how you get along.

Take care

CB x

[RXRX]

If I call them will it be logged anywhere?

I mean is emotional abuse even a good enough reason to leave and go to a refuge?

He has so much money he would keep going and going in court… I know in years to come the little ones will see his true colours but is that not neglect on my part if I do stay… I hate myself for getting the kids into this situation

[Happybelle]

The police would look into this for sure with the controlling behaviour. It’s absolutely not on.
As they grow older am sure the children will understand it all. (detail removed by Moderator)

[RXRX]

My contract is in his name so he would see on the bill… so I can’t anyways

[Twisted Sister]

Hello RXRX

I am sorry to hear what is happening to you and your children, and as you predict, he’s unlikely to stop, and will continue through courts.

I would suggest that you call the National Domestic Violence Helpline, or there’s the Women’s Aid chat facility on here (search under Support and Advice), and as I understand it the number of the Helpline would not appear on a bill anywhere and is free, but do search to check this out for yourself so you know for sure.

Also, work on your device in private browsing mode when you are either on here or searching, so that no history is logged that he could find.

The domestic violence and coercive control don’t have to be physical. Coercive control is recognised in law, and recounting your experiences to Women’s Aid or the National Helpline will mean that they can search Refuge spaces for you and your children. You would arrange with them how you would continue beyond that so that you all can stay as safe as possible without him finding out. They will also be able to find local resources for you, although some areas don’t seem to tackle coercive control and only deal with threats of immediate danger/death. Your own local resources can also be searched for here under the Support & Advice link.

You take care of you all, as you are doing, and listen to what your gut instincts tell you. Do keep posting when you can and keep safe.

warmest wishes

ts

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