26th April 2021 at 11:07 am #125248MumLovesKebabParticipant
I’m going to try and keep this short and to the point. Sorry if I waffle.
I was with my ex partner for about (detail removed by Moderator) years. He is the father of my son who is now (detail removed by Moderator) but not my daughters who are now adult.
During our relationship I experienced dv. He was arrested but I didn’t ever press charges.
In (detail removed by Moderator) he was removed from my house because my daughters has alleged sexual abuse.
In (detail removed by Moderator) he was found not guilty.
Although I hate to admit it and it makes me feel so angry and sick with myself I was under his control. He loved bombed me. Said he couldn’t live without me. Very narcissistic behaviour.
Blindly I kept in contact with him and he had contact with our son. But then it changed. He met someone new and didn’t need me anymore.
The man himself is very volatile. He was very quick to anger. When he took our son out every time my boy came back and told me about some argument they had had and how he’d been upset.
In (detail removed by Moderator) I finally stopped contact. He took out son to (detail removed by Moderator). Our son ordered something he didn’t like, dad got annoyed, shouted, banged the table and went to walk from the (detail removed by Moderator) leaving our son. Apparently he didn’t actually leave but to a (detail removed by Moderator) year old he did.
He has, since contact stopped, arranged for a mediator to contact me once. I declined as I do not want to talk or have anything to do with him. Part of my own self preservation. (detail removed by Moderator) ago I received a solicitors letter. He wants contact. There is no way I want this man near my child.
Today I am a completely different person. I am not controlled by him and I can see who I was back then. I 1000% believe what he did to my girls.
To get legal aid I need to prove dv. I can’t get police records of this because of data protection. I cannot afford solicitors.
I really need help ❤️
26th April 2021 at 11:27 am #125249KIP.Participant
Police records aren’t the only proof. Talk to your local women’s aid and ring Rights of Women who offer free legal advice. You are entitled to have copies of your own records. They may redact his name but it’s evidence. Statements from your daughters. Any other people involved at the time. Did you tell your GP. Start with a journal of all his behaviour in chronological order. Write down next to the incidents and witnesses or reports made. Just because he has instructed a solicitor doesn’t mean he will get access. His solicitor acts in his behalf and will write what he tells them to within the law. Most solicitors offer free initial advice so I’d ring round a few to get a feeling for what they say.
26th April 2021 at 11:30 am #125250KIP.Participant
Court is expensive so it might be that he’s been dumped by his partner and has decided to try to get his hooks back into you by using your son. The cost of a solicitor letter to see how the land lies. Try to take it one day at a time but get your support network around you. Womensaid, GP, Rights of Women, NSPCC who have a helpline. Anyone from that time willing to support you. The courts are backlogged so I wouldn’t expect thing to happen quickly. As long as you’re legally the resident parent? Otherwise he has the same rights as you x
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