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    • #81319
      Worrywart
      Participant

      hello iv’e had another crying session, i miss him so much 🙁 …he came to pick our boy up to stay at his as usual and (detail removed by moderator) my daughter was leaving at the same time as he pulled up …i looked out of my window and he was talking to her (he never seen me) for about 5 mins, i wasn’t mentioned by him, my daughter said but i feel so jealous that he talks to my daughter its like he is still part of my family if you see what i mean …he really dont give a sh** does he, i’m still grieving and he just don’t care! it don’t feel like i’m ever going to get through this heartbreak ….any words of wisdom would be appreciated …thank you for reading x

    • #81326
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi worrywart, I’ve just replied to you on another post which I think would help with this post too. I feel your pain, it’s absolutely awful when we miss them so much. Remember the bad times instead when you feel like this. Think what a good example you’re setting for your children about healthy relationships. Stay strong, go find something to distract your mind if you can. Easier said than done. My feeling is he’s probably being Mr nice to get at you, get back in your head. You are stronger than you realise

    • #81329
      Worrywart
      Participant

      thank you hun, for both reply’s i just don’t get the way they can just walk away and act like nothing has happened, while i’m breaking my heart ….i just wish i could erase him out of my head, but i cant 🙁 x

    • #81330
      KIP.
      Participant

      This is just what they do. It’s in their nature. Keep blanking him. It will get easier. We are programmed to search for than crumb of attention and love and validation. It’s brainwashing and programming. I know you won’t feel like it but next time he has your child, plan something especially nice with that time. Get your hair done. A manicure. A massage. Anything just for you. I like the fable about the swan and the scorpion. The scorpion 🦂 wants to cross the river and asks many birds to take him, they all refuse. Then he sees a lovely graceful Swan and asks her to take him across. she says, but if I take you, will you sting me. And the scorpion says no, of course not. So he jumps on her back and she swims over to the other side. Just before he gets off onto dry land he gives her an almighty sting. She cries out, why did you hurt me that way when I was helping you. And he simply replies. I’m a scorpion, that’s what i do.

    • #81333
      Worrywart
      Participant

      Thank you KIP love that story about the scorpion …it makes sense x

    • #81343
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I wonder too if they see/realise the damage they’ve done. How it feels like our worlds stopped and there’s is carrying on. I miss my abuser at times, then I think of the reasons I phoned the police. The times I apologised even though I’d done nothing to apologise for. Ask yourself how sad, emotional do you feel now? How would you *really* feel if he was back in your life? Because he might be nice for a day or a week but that other side of him would come back and as hard for us to realise it, that’s the real him. Sending hugs.

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