Help to get him out of my life for good

[Doodle123]

Hi,
I have a very bad habit of being way too nice and considerate to people who don’t deserve it. I’m getting trauma therapy to help as I’ve learned it’s due to having CPTSD.
I’ve made some improvements in knowing that some things aren’t worth suffering for just to prove you’re a nice person, and after a few failed attempts I managed to break up with my ex boyfriend (detail removed by Moderator) months after being together. Those (detail removed by Moderator) months were filled with love bombing and then the need of help when my ex couldn’t live at his place anymore, i regrettably leant him money for his rent and eventually allowed him to stay at mine temporarily for (detail removed by Moderator) maximum. Or at least that was what I wanted.
Even after breaking up due to him triggering a really bad ptsd episode and him agreeing that we’d be better off not in a relationship he still didn’t leave as “he had no where to go” I gave him advice and knowing it wasn’t my business anymore I even formally asked him to leave by letter so he could get help from the council. He still did leave. He only eventually left when he had to as I had family staying for a while and so the sofa was no longer available for him.
But the whole time and to this day around (detail removed by Moderator) months later his stuff is still at mine and there has been little progress in him taking it back, just a few items here and there with the excuse that his place doesn’t have room. I even went as far as offering to pay for a storage unit for the (detail removed by Moderator) and he can deal with the rest or just to pay for a van to take it to his parents. Plans have been made (detail removed by Moderator) for the van but each time cancelled, (detail removed by Moderator) for being too anxious and (detail removed by Moderator) he had an important appointment that he forgot before…
These times were only discussed after I had to “play nice” and apologised for him feeling “emotionally neglected” during our “relationship” more talking of the time he was in my house causing a ptsd episode and not leaving making me feel trapped and even suicidal- of course his emotional needs weren’t of concern of mine at the time…
Even then if I didn’t reply to his messages soon enough even in the middle of the night he would send me a message of abusive and accusing words and be all dismissive so no hope in discussing him taking his stuff.
I’ve been feeling so trapped and still so triggered by him. So recently I knew enough was enough and told him and this time managed so far to not people please that there will be zero communication between us because he makes me emotionally and physically ill even just by messaging and not seeing each other face to face.

But now here’s my problem, what can I legally do with his stuff? I don’t want to give an “excuse” for him to be abusive by just throwing it all out without telling him. And I want to make sure that it’s all legally just so he can’t take me to court or try to make me feel any more guilt. I know there’s a weird English law that means you have to take care of other people’s property in your home but there’s also a law about abandoned property after 2 months. Does the times he’s come over for a couple of things discount it from being abandoned? If not then can my letter of asking him to leave my home count as a formal ask of him removing property too? I don’t really want to look through old messages to see when the two times were arranged and cancelled and I’m not fully sure if they’ve been deleted anyway.
Would they even count if I didn’t state the consequence of his stuff being removed with or without him?
I rather not break the no contact with any more messages if possible so could I hire a solicitor to enforce the removal of items? If so how much would that cost? And will I have to go to court? I again rather not due to seeing him and the whole affair being used as fodder to justify any further abuse as I was “dramatic” and he might try and arrest me for the “emotional distress” I’ve caused him or whatever weird thing he’d do just to keep him in my life and trapped, being punished or disregarded whenever I try to stand up for myself yet again.

Sorry for the rant, just thought some background would help.
Any help or suggestions would really be appreciated, I really don’t know what to do and don’t want to do anything more than I need to as I’m still struggling mentally from all this.
Thanks again

[Hereforhelp]

Hi, a close friend of mine went through similar re moving her partners belongings as he kept making excuses, cancelling etc… in the end she walked into her local Police station and asked them what she could do in her situation, she also explained some of the abuse and what to expect if she tried again… they contacted him and dropped his stuff to him! That was the end of that as these men hate being exposed… I don’t know your situation but wanted to share his with you x
For me, getting my husband out to some attempts, succeeded in the end and have been zero contact since x

Keep posting ❤️ HFH

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