21st May 2020 at 8:48 pm #104030
I feel so stupidly suicidal and in turmiol. I know i should reach out to talk with someone but i really dont feel like it. I dont want to feel the enotions of explaining anything. I just really cant be bothered. I havent the energy or fight to care or be bothered but everyone always sugguests to reach out. Im so worn out from it all. Abuse is all ive ever known from family and now my partner and im tired. Yet i refuse to leave but i cant stay like this. Im in turmiol of how i get myself out of this. (detail removed by moderator). It hurts so bad inside. It pyhsically hurts im so sad.
21st May 2020 at 9:02 pm #104032LisaMain Moderator
Do you have anyone you trust to reach out to right now? You can say as much or as little you want to to the Samaritans- just keep them in mind as an option.
It’s understandable why you’d be feeling so tired of it all; abuse is exhausting and confusing and insidious, and the right way to start to break free from it all is to do exactly what you’re doing; reaching out for help.
Please do call the crisis team if you’re feeling this low. I know that this can seem like a difficult thing to do, but they are the experts in this and they can get you the help you are needing.
Feel free to PM me,
21st May 2020 at 9:05 pm #104033KIP.Participant
Hey, you’re reaching out on here and that’s great. It’s what got me through some dark times. I think we are told to reach out because when we are traumatised and in pain, we simply can’t think straight. We get dragged down this black hole and it’s so difficult to find a light by ourselves. These feelings will pass and perhaps you can just ride them out. I know it’s exhausting so maybe you can reach a point of acceptance for where you are just now. And know that things will get better. I know the lovely ladies on the national domestic abuse helpline just spoke to me the first couple of times I rang I couldn’t speak and they were so reassuring. There are people who genuinely care for you.
21st May 2020 at 9:39 pm #104034
Thanks for the support. I dont want to ring and be refused any kind of help or support again. Because the virus stuff they arnt helping as many people and and if they refuse me again i think itd push me over the edge.
Im trying to watch something on tv to distract myself but its hard to stay focused.
21st May 2020 at 11:36 pm #104036LottieblueParticipant
Have you tried the Live Chat on the Women’s Aid site. I quite like that because it feels more anonymous. It’s really great that you’ve come on here. Quite a lot of people do at this time of night.
Have you ever tried the Samaritans, like Lisa suggested. I really like them as well, and they are especially good if you are feeling that low. You don’t really even need to explain anything or tell them how you’re feeling. They just listen anyway.
In any case, you’ve come to a good place to get support. Everyone here can relate in some way to what you’re going through. X
22nd May 2020 at 10:28 am #104055Same-againParticipant
Just a quick msg to say thinking of you. I had a very, very bad day yesterday too. Thought I was doing ok and then had a huge downward dive. Bad. (detail removed by moderator).
Anyways, hope you’re feeling a bit better today. I am a little.
22nd May 2020 at 10:28 am #104056HopeLifeJoyParticipant
Hi Alittlelost when you’re feeling like this talking and sorting out your thoughts can be good, you don’t have to take any decisions, just talk to get you out of this dark place you’ve been placed in due to his abuse.
Hope you’re feeling a little better today?
Sending you hugs and prayer 💕
22nd May 2020 at 10:28 am #104057Same-againParticipant
*me in it
22nd May 2020 at 12:54 pm #104072
I decided to try just to not care anymore. I usually do this when im hurting the most. Its just easier to try not to care.
22nd May 2020 at 3:51 pm #104077starqueenParticipant
Alittlelost, you deserve to be cared about, and you deserve a life beyond abuse. Your family and partner are wrong to behave abusively towards you. It’s so hard when the people who are supposed to care don’t, but you are important and what they’ve done is wrong. I can also recommend the Samaritans too, I’ve had good experiences calling them before. You deserve a better life and caring people who will support you the way you deserve. 💕
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