Here we go again

[lostandbroken]

So since I last posted, like most of us we got back together and things were running smoothly until I fell pregnant a couple of months ago. My mental health has plummeted, Iv weaned off my anti depressants for the health of the baby but Iv landed myself in such an anxious dark place, he doesn’t know what to do or how to support me. He just becomes toxic and nasty. I feel utterly stupid that I’m back here posting, when I thought I had everything under control, but it’s all gone wrong. He’s back at his mums and I’m living a nightmare alone xx

[KIP.]

Sadly he does know how to support you, he just chooses to be toxic and nasty as this is his true self as you bee experienced for a long time. You’re extremely vulnerable at the moment and any decent father would be stepping up but abusers see this as a time when we are trapped and vulnerable and will often escalate the abuse. There are still many options open to you. I’m sure every one of us on here has taken back our abuser. They are expert liars and manipulators. Do you have support from women’s aid?

[lostandbroken]

No not yet, I haven’t thought that far ahead. I have a mental health midwife coming to see me in the morning, but I’m not sure I want to talk to her about his emotional abuse. Is there a number I can ring?
How the hell am I gonna get through this, pregnant with a toddler I’m so drained. And absolutely gutted at his behaviour. Xx

[KIP.]

Please please open up to the mental health midwife. She cannot help you unless you open up to her about what’s going on. For the sake of your baby. Have you considered a termination. I know it’s not for everyone but it may be an option for you as a toddler is a handful without a baby when you’re already stressed out. There’s a free phone national domestic abuse number if you google it or you can try and find your local one. His behaviour won’t change, you have every right to be gutted but sadly you cannot rely on an abuser, ever. And abuse always gets worse. Try to build a support network away from him. Family, friends, other mums etc. Speak to the midwife and tell her how you’re feeling. Abuse thrives on silences and you need to protect yourself x

[lostandbroken]

I can’t go through with a termination, I wouldn’t live with myself and this baby is already so loved.
I will try to open up to her, i will see how it goes first Iv never met her before. I will be ringing the numbers off the internet I desperately need to reach out to someone. Xx

[KIP.]

Midwives receive training in domestic abuse so please feel safe talking to her. I’m happy your baby is already loved, it means you will have the strength to protect him/her from having an abuser so that she can grow up without such dysfunction in her life x you need a nice calm loving stress free environment or it can harm your baby. Keep reaching out for help x

[Lisa]

Hi there Lostandbroken,

There is really no reason for you to feel stupid for coming back and posting here, we all understand.

The National Domestic Violence Helpline is available 24/7 on 0808 2000 247. You can also speak to a support worker from Women’s Aid via the Live Chat.

You could also getting some ongoing support from your local domestic abuse service, you can find their details here

Do remember if you need to talk about the way you are feeling you can contact the Samaritans at anytime on 116 123.

Best wishes

Lisa

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