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Is it common for these men to move on to the next one so quickly. My side of the bed is still warm and he is already messaging another woman. I honestly dont care in that way it just makes me so angry, I’m here feeling like cr#p and he is swanning about building bridges elsewhere. I’ve told him to crack on if it makes him feel better but that I would rather mourn my relationship and get over it properly but then maybe because I’m hurting more than he is. It just makes me so angry, I really really want to be a spiteful cow but I know I need to take the high road and be the mature one. ITS JUST SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!!! sorry for the rant, I needed to get it off my chest!
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Yes its totally normal abuser behaviour to just move right on to their next victim. They have nothing to mourn or grieve in their relationship with us because (they are empty), they have never loved us. They are sad for the fact with us gone they will have no one to bully. A lot of abusers are carrying on with other women in the marriage. They go online, flirt with other women, take it further and think nothing of it. Apparently its not the sex or the intimacy they are after, they need another intimate partner for control. They need someone to control so they feel powerful.
We are like appliances for them. So if one appliance is broken or not performing (us) as they would like they will just go out and get another appliance (woman).
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They’re like vampires that need to feed off someone!
Hopefully he’ll leave you alone but there’s a chance he’ll crawl back when he hears you’re doing well with some bluff about ‘realising how much he loves/misses you etc’
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Yea have already had all of that talk but I think that was a realisation that he was losing grip of me. As soon as he knew I wasn’t going back his whole demeanour suddenly changed. Its laughable how transparent it is really. But then thats them, they are child like in their ways. I feel remarkably fine about it at the moment, I am just scared that once my anger subsides I will be reduced to a sobbing mess…I just need to channel this anger into something positive. I am about to write a list of reasons why the relationship was difficult, which is something I have avoided up until now because I wasnt really ready to face the reality of it. I plan on taking this list to my counsellor tomorrow to discuss. Just got to keep moving forwards
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Absolutely typical behaviour. If you read ‘Living with the Dominator’ by Pat Craven. That book tells you exactly that. He will move on very quickly but make sure you know about it. It’s part of the plan to destabilise us. Mine did it to me, he was seeing someone behind my back, then tried to rub my nose in it. Hoping I’d come running back. I was really hurt as you can imagine and as you are but his behaviour made me more determined to keep him out my life. That’s when it got really nasty. Normal people take time to grieve for a relationship. They would be king of two castles if we let them. Women’s aid told me at that time to let him get on with it. In 18 months he will be stuck with the reality of a rushed into dysfunctional relationship whilst we will have taken the time to recover and will be moving on positively with our life. I cannot stress how true that is. At the time I didn’t believe them but it’s very true. It’s also a reminder of how little they care. No empathy, or common decency X you’ve had a lucky escape
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My ex was the same always had someone else on the go, at first they were old friends from school, work colleagues etc and I was just paranoid and needy .. then they were on his phone chatting he called it banter I called it cheating, every time I’ve tried to break free hes with someone else within hours I realise now it was to make me jealous make me come running back now I just feel pity for the next poor soul who becomes his prey, the charm is a killer they stand no chance unfortunately
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Poor woman, whoever she is.
My friends were worried that I would react badly when he was seen with someone, but the truth is, I just laughed from relief but also felt sorry for the woman! ).
Knowing what I do now about him, I can look back in my marriage with new eyes. All those times he was a bit flirty around women and which I passed off as harmless, were probably more significant than I imagined. I N. is pretty sure he has been unfaithful more than once. Do I care? I care that U hide such an idiot for a husband and wasted precious years with him. I don’t care who he is with.
They are addicted to that fuzzy feeling of attention that you get when you first meet someone. As far as a proper relationship based on true love and compromise, they are rubbish, because they want everything to be about them. For some reason they wish to be always admired, even when they have done nothing to earn such praise.
They are serial adulterers, because many people can see them for who they are quite quickly, or they bore of people. Rather than seeing relationships as a long adventure, getting to know someone and their soul on a deep level they are just addicted to the superficial things. They are about as emotionally deep as a puddle.
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…good riddance I’d say!
I know how sick you feel inside, its being used and its not a good feeling…the more NC the better, cut him out of your life as much as possible.I was tempted to look at social media, then thought why am I bothering??
Do I think he’s suddenly going to turn into a nice guy?…we all know the answer.
Better to use that time to focus on you and your own life and future.
My ex is trash he deserves to be ignored,
regardless of whether it makes any difference,
it makes ME feel better, that’s the point.hugs
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There all the same I Cought my husband Messging another girl while I was laying next to him iv been though a lot with him. When I confronted him about he lied I was thinking to my self I saw it with my own eyes he was making me think that it was all in my head but it wasn’t from that day I said you no what I’ll neva be good enough coz I take all ur rubbish I said ur welcome to another woman and inside me I didn’t feel anything yes as a woman it will annoy you but I thought one day u will come across someone who won’t put up with you and I can look back and think thank God. Be strong ladies it’s a long road but who needs a BOY who runs else were ?
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My ex moved on immediately, it transpired he had someone lined up just in case. I wasn’t jealous, just felt sorry for the woman, just another victim.
What was annoying was all the beatings and abuse I took for ‘being unfaithful’ when in fact it was he that was the one playing around. I never cheated – I was too scared. I can’t believe how I stuck (detail removed by Moderator) of it. When I tell people I can see that they find it hard to believe that I didn’t get out sooner – but when you are in that relationship,you are a different person and you don’t think logically.
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