- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 8 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
So, I spent a lot of time and money (for storage of his stuff in a storage unit) getting him out and ended up that i couldnt afford the storage any more so said he could move his stuff back into my house, since he had nowhere else for it to go. now, he’s fallen out with his mum so cant stay there any more so if i dont let him stay with me hes homeless so hes back, i hate it so much.
on the one hand he does help out round the house etc and our daughter loves him dearly (even though he hasn’t treated her as well as he shouldve) but i just get no life. he has something to say every time i want to do something with my daughter and my family or friends. im so trapped and i just cannot get him out and make him stay gone. i’ve made him leave several times before but he always managed to work his way back by making me feel guilty and me being so weak and wanting to keep the peace. he keeps kissing me even though he knows i hate it, it makes me feel sick.
how do i get him out for good? its my house so i cant just plan to up and leave like others can. im feeling so lost and low because im back to square 1. not much point to this post as i know im too weak to do anything about it.
-
-
I agree with Ayanna. He is definitely not your responsibility. It speaks volumes that his own mother doesn’t want him there. Fear, Obligation and Guilt. The FOG of abuse. Keep posting and reading other posts. If it’s your property you can heave the police remove him if he refuses to go. You say you e made him leave several times before so you should be able to get him out again. This time there’s no coming back. It takes time for your mind to sort through the abuse. I used to feel sick when my ex kissed me. That’s just not right. It’s soul destroying. He’s using guilt to control you. Try ringing the helpline or contact your local women’s aid. They can give you the support you need to get rid of him.
-
-
This is how you get trapped. If he was a decent human being he would not be using guilt. He would have moved out and see his daughter on set day and everything would be as positive as possible. My ex used our son and didn’t give a second though as to how upset he would get. Your daughter needs a happy, confident mum to set a good example. This won’t happen in an abusive household. You’re the adult in this. Maybe ring the helpline for advice. Once again he is not your responsibility. If he’s homeless it’s nobody’s fault but his own. Why should you suffer him when his own mother won’t. Look after yourself. Don’t let him suck the life and happiness from you x
-
I know everything you’re saying makes perfect sense KIP, I just can’t seem to think logically about it. I just have the overwhelming feeling of responsibility and the worry of not coping with the stress it will cause my little girl (she’s very young). I know I need to be strong, I just need to work my way up to doing that. Thanks for replying x
-
Backtome, you know very well how unhappy you are with this man.
Switch off your emotions for a little while and look at your life how you want it to be.
I am sure you do not want to see him in it. You surely want happy sunshine every day, which is impossible whilst he stands in the light and casts nothing but shadow.
Just do what is rationally best for you and kick him out for good.
Feel sad later, when he is out of your reach and sight.
You need to be hard in order to gain happiness and freedom from abuse.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
