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He followed the support worker from xontact and asked about her (detail removed by Moderator) children that she never mentioned, sent me another message via.the.neighbour, phoned the support worker and shouted at her for (detail removed by Moderator) then told he she was corrupt and psychological abusing him. Social say contact shouls go through court. This is not going to go well. Scared. Had terrie dreams last night.
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(detail removed by Moderator) Doesn’t he know he’s just adding more and more evidence of harassment and stalking to the pile of abuse evidence the police already had on him?
Do you still have contact with a police domestic abuse officer? If so I think they need to know. They can look into it. Have you flagged this latest episode and your worries by phoning police ( “normal police” not DA team), if you haven’t can you find the strength to? Tell them you are scared and see if they can get your address flagged up and ask about alarms and locks.
I hope the support worker has told her manager and his actions have been escalated.
Are the children on any sort of plan with children’s services? If so can you request a meeting to discuss latest developments?
This has made me so angry!!!
Don’t be scared. You know how to be safe now. Don’t answer your door without knowing who’s there and keep it locked. I know you’ll tell school tomoroow but escalate with police and social care too.
And finally keep your hands off the bleach and no cutting – you are so much stronger than him and you will get through it. I know you can do it xxxx -
Have told the police.Address is flagged. Have motion alarms and panic alarms.kids have literally just come of child protection. Police called early hours of yesterday morning but we were asleep. Just sont undesrstand why someone cant just stop him. Cant take anymore. Its gonna get worse. Hes been telling people im fine with him and want us to be together but wveryone is stopping us last night I had nightmares bout when he was high tied me up and left me … i was naked and so cold but he forgot because he was on something. i should get him done for everything but i cant. (detail removed by Moderator)
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Everyone has their limits though dont they. Feel like no one will help unless i bare my soul. Unless i take off my clothes and show then what he did, unless i describe for them what he did. I gave up o the video evidence cos i couldnt do it. U no what they are asking me? How did he put his hand inside u was it a fist or was it like this? When u say he spat ou do you mean that he spat into ur vagina? I have to to be tortured by then to be free of him. I dont think he will ever stop. Sometimes i think about going to him and saying ill go back just to make it stop. I hate myself.
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Shine bright, I know how hard it is to give statements about such intimate things so don’t be hard on yourself. I’m in a much better place than when I did that so maybe you are now stronger than you think. Just keep moving forward. You are doing great. Keep taking all the help offered. He’s giving them all the evidence they need X
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KIPs right. She knows how tough it is. It’s awful answering intimate questions fron strangers it’s awful having to relive events but it’s a way to continue to heal and get through this and a way to show him who’s boss.
Keep logging his dirty tricks and encourage others to do it too.
Look how far you’ve cone in last few months. You can carry on and get out the other side even brighter and stronger than you are now. Don’t give up. Don’t let him win xx -
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Hi Shinebright,
Please stay strong. You have been so brave and come so far. Do not put yourself and your children at risk by having any contact with him. Please phone the helpline any time you need to talk. You are so much stronger than you think. Reach out to all the help that you have on offer.
We are all here for you.
Best wishes,
Lisa
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Hey Hun
You have progressed so much since you joined the site, again this isjust another tatic he is trying to unsettle you and has got to you, i know it feels ever ending and you are a private person asnd dont like talking about what he did to u to the polcie, but it will help you, in mean time people who are passing messages fro him to u , be firm and say please do not pass messages on i am focusing on children and myself. Please be strong and ignore everythign he says, play the no reaction game totally and post to us how u feel,my ex used to say to his sisters too that im still sleeping with him and making geestures, just ignore it , they really are disrespectful, they will twist everything around, if his behaving like this , i know its upsetting but is recorded innyour favour, everytime anyone says his ready to get back, just say well im not .Its ok tohave a cry and release the emotions, he just doesnt need to see u low.
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hey lovely, so sorry you are experiencing his awful behaviours again, but like other’s say, he’s involving other people, and making approaches to Social Services is such a stupid and crazy thing to do! To save yourself and your children protect you all. Put up your shields to stop his rubbish getting through to you, and making sure you have all the protections you all need in place.
I can only offer suggestion to focus inwards with you and your children, and have good times and peaceful times together, feel the family warmth at difficult times like these.
We are all in your corner here! hoping that you will keep yourself separate from his behaviour and see it for what it is, cruelty. You have so much going for you, for you and for your children, your life will be different when this is over… his won’t!
small steps and keep walking hun x*x warmest wishes xxKS
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You could not wish for anything better.
He digs his own grave with what he does.
Hopefully his behaviour is enough evidence that all the organisations you are involved with to help you kick him out of your life forever.Regarding the interview questions: they have to ask this. How can they otherwise build a case?
They are horrid questions, but after a year you begin to forget them.
There is absolutely nothing you need to feel ashamed about.
We all look similar naked, these people hear such descriptions several times every day, they are doing their job to help you.
Take good care, make sure you are always safe. You will get through this. A better life awaits you and it is not far away anymore.You are so strong! You can do this!
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I think you’re a lot tougher than you think. The police wouldn’t suggest it if they didn’t feel it was needed. I think you can do this – you can stand up to him.
I used to picture mine (and still do!! ) as a wizened little man with a long pointy nose about 2’6″ tall a beard and grey frizzy hair dancing naked around a campfire – a memory of rumpelstilskin from childhood. Thinking of him like that meant I could separate him from reality when things got really tough. It was my solicitor who said something that triggered the image – she used to call him “that evil little man” and the image stuck.
I believe in you. I think you can do the statement. Ive seen what youre capable of – you left him, youre standing in your own two feet looking after your children and youre working with agencies to keep them safe – you are amazing. Lots of love xxxx
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