He’s ended it

[Munchkin04]

So after another week of him blaming me for my reaction to his unkind words. His games this week and turning them round to tell me I’m mad and he should be wary of me. All because I took myself away from him after he said he didn’t want to be with a partner (detail removed by Moderator). He chose not to message me this week he chose to stay in another room every eve. Then tells me I should have reacted differently. A week of verbal abuse because I reacted in my way not his. Now (detail removed by Moderator) all calmly he’s told me it’s over. I’m broken beyond repair. Why am I so so sad. Why when I know he’s an abuser. He wants to sell the house that I love and go our separate ways. All this because he never does any wrong. Never sees his part. Never takes responsibility. I thought I was doing the right thing(detail removed by Moderator). Why couldn’t he have had a loving conversation with me about it. My heads going mad. I don’t want him to meet somebody else. I wanted to be loved by him and have what he shows everyone else. Understanding compassion patience. I don’t get that. I’m in a heap in my room feeling lost and lonely. Why?

[Anonymous]

Honey I do feel for you I really do , his turned it around so you go begging back to him to make it work , his blame shifting everything wrong in your relationship is about you , so if he turns it around now and ends it as he has told you , it’s his bargening tool to work you around , then you go back to him and whatever his doing and done will all be forgiven & forgotten as you went after him to make it alright . It’s so hard isn’t it ? When someone you love so much treats you this way and will not change I’m afraid to say , the cycle just continues every time. If I were you I would bluff him cos I guarantee you his got no intentions of doing anything about selling the house or ending the relationship, can you afford to buy him out ? Why should you sell your home you love so much ? You can try & try with someone like that , but your never win , they play too many games , anything for your reaction, to hurt you , pay you back for what they perceive as a slight on them . Is this how you want your relationship to continue? X

[Bananaboat]

I agree with Duchess, it’s highly likely this is a test to make you beg him to try again & stay. He’ll probably flip flop between it’s over and he still loves you over the next few days to manipulate you into staying together and ‘compromising’ to his way.

Breaking up is heart breaking and scary, but when you remember his nasty behaviour and words ie the reasons you are unhappy, you could be given a gift horse here and call his bluff and proceed with the split. I know you love him and lovely we all desperately wanted that nice version of them to be the real one and that future they promised us to happen but that nasty person who bullies, belittles and ignores you is the one you’d get if you stay x

[LozzyX]

Hi Munchkin

Sadly shifting blame onto us, and cutting things off all on their terms …is straight of the abusers playbook 🙁

It hurts so much right now but try use this as your chance to break free if the relationship is doing more harm than good… Call/contact WA see if there is any support you can get to help you break this emotional bond to him …they are like a drug we are addicted to them and it takes time to get ourselves unhooked and adjusted to a life of sobriety .. but it is possible ..

Please keep posting here til for support and just to vent …I found it so helpful when I left my husband yrs ago…sadly I stopped posting , cut myself off from any sensible advice and went back to him…no guesses for why I am now back here…

Spend the coming days focusing on you – self care and doing the things you love xx

[Author]

Posts