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I found out late last night that my ex has gone to (detail removed by moderator) I am absolutely fuming. I’ve had an awful night and day with only 1 hour sleep. I’m left with crippling anxiety navigating my way through me finally having the strength to leave and (detail removed by moderator)
How is this fair?? He’s getting a rally of support on social media with some comments suggesting a bit of a smear campaign. Suddenly he loves social media when it was always a no go before its just for attention why do people post etc etc.
Honestly i feel dreadful. All I have done is leave quite quietly and he gets to share it online how he’s had an awful year hopefully this will change his life, clearly trying to get to me which he succeeded. The absolute audacity!
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It can be very angry and feeling unfair when you see him seems so happy while you’re still struggling. But I guess it might be better to focus on yourself and your own healing first, since how he has been is none of your business. It’s okay to feel that way, but gradually it would be better to try switching the focus on yourself, and treat yourself well. You don’t have to compare your life with him, just focus on making yourself feel happy and peaceful and live in the way you like. Sending you loves x
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hi bluebird I’ve been meaning to message you for a while now as my ex seems to have very similar behaviours as yours- silent treatments, ruining birthdays, smear campaigns. He was subtle and it’s hard to explain to friends.
My ex also went abroad on holiday 6 weeks after moving out. He went to a tropical destination where we had planned to go to together for my landmark birthday. It hurt like hell to see him smiling up from the screen while I was so upset and trying to pick up the shreds of my self esteem. He also never posted on social media before. He knew I would see it! He was twisting the knife!
With a bit of time and distance I can now see very clearly that he was trying to provoke me. He was twisting the knife. That is the reality of him, someone who enjoys hurting people.
I miss him still sometimes- the good times at the beginning. But ultimately I realised that he is messed up and bad news. We can’t take them back as at their core they are abusive. Would you feel safe going on holiday with him now? Would he give you the silent treatment? Is he a safe partner? These are the questions I ask myself all the time and the answers make me strong.
Block his social media if you can. I know it’s hard but he will continue to twist the knife. Try not to let him. Don’t let him win. X -
I forgot to add something that really helped me when I saw that he was on holiday and enjoying himself. I imagined being there with him…what would it be like? Would I feel relaxed around him? Would I feel like I could be myself? Or Would I be walking on egg shells? Would he give me the silent treatment if a bus didn’t turn up or we got lost? Would I be accused of looking at other men around the pool? Would he say something nasty at a time when I was feeling good about myself?
it doesn’t matter where he is in the world- he is the same hurtful person.
I hope this helps a little bit. Xx
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