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I used to think this would be my worst nightmare. That I wouldn’t survive the pain if he every married someone else. I feel nothing. Perhaps pity for his new victim but I’m so happy at how far I’ve come. He means nothing to me now. I never thought I’d feel like this. I feel nothing for him. Probably exactly the same he felt for me during decades of marriage. Good riddance to bad rubbish. If you’re struggling with these thoughts. You won’t always feel that way and how liberating it is not to care. Yippee x
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Poor woman. Sadly, I think these men only get better at lying and operating covertly as they age and they have more to lose as they dont really want to start over again. Of course she doesnt know what she’s getting into – yet, but then there will have been some red flags which she chose to ignore or let slide and Claire’s law of course. It’s pretty easy to manipulate someone ‘looking’ for love. Horrid isn’t it.
Good to read kip – made me smile. Shows you he means nothing hey. I feel the same these days. Felt nothing when he moved in with his new partner, only concern for her and how this will effect my child and that was it. He disgusts me and I find him repugnant sometimes but I couldn’t care less about what he’s up to – probably in part because we know already – thank gawd those days of living together are gone! Long gone! x
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You’re absolutely right. She knew his conviction for assaulting me yet moved him in very quickly to her home. He played her to perfection. Somewhere for him to stay, a new host for the parasite. You’re right about the age thing too. He’s late fifties so needs to trap a new supply quickly. Hey ho. She was warned. It’s all about me now x
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This makes me so smile to read. I’m so happy for you Kip.
My ex has just got into a new relationship and even though I was the one who eventually decided I couldn’t go back to him again it has still devastated me. I think I just find it hard to accept that he could be nice to someone else after being so awful to me. He told me I would regret my decision to walk away because he had changed, and I’m worried he may have changed.
But you have give me hope, and is so refreshing to read. I hope one day that I will no longer care. -
It’s such an abuser thing to say to you. To plant that seed of doubt. If he had changed he wouldn’t have said such a nasty comment designed to make you doubt yourself. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Yes one day you really will not care. Let’s hope that days comes soon because life gets much easier when it does. And he hasn’t and won’t change. They never do. The new victims will suffer exactly the way we did.
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Very happy for you KIP, when we realise the truth of our ex relationships, I guess these things come as a relief in a way, but also a thought for the new victim. As you say she had fair warning and chose to ignore it – to her detriment no doubt.
MeOnScreen, my ex said exactly the same, I wasn’t prepared to take the chance. I didn’t love him by then anyway. Oh he will be nice to her, just like he was to you at one time. She’ll soon see the other side because he won’t change so don’t worry x
It is all about you now KIP, and so it should be 💐 xx
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It’s good to hear you’re ok KIP. As far as I know my ex hasn’t remarried but he’s has 3 or 4 “live in lovers” all of whom moved out within a couple of months.
Do you feel as if the pressure is off you now? Odd to say that but it’s what I felt knowing he was seeing someone else and knowing that despite him bad mouthing me to them his behaviour would be directed to them not me, knowledge that he’d “moved on”.
Having been my ex’s next victim at one stage I wouldn’t have believed what his first wife said of him even if she’d contacted me as he was just so lovely and kind ie love bombing me so successfully!
I’m glad you are ok xx -
Yes it feels like a relief in a strange way. And somehow validated that the pattern continues. And the way he made sure I knew just speaks volumes that he hasn’t moved on and I’m obviously still on his radar. I couldn’t care less if he remarried. He’s not my problem anymore and if I was ever to remarry, he would be the last person on earth Id want to know. His new gf was a vulnerable victim of domestic violence so his predatory nature continues. I think these men will always victimise us if we allow any sort of access or contact at all. Their feelings of entitlement never go away. It’s just such a great feeling not to have any emotional connection. I know his game. I know he’s dangerous but I also have the confidence to deal with that side. I’ve kicked his a*s in court before and am more than a match for him now x it’s also helping with the PTSD. Not having that emotional attachment. We all just need to keep moving forward. It’s frustrating and painful but there is much light at the end of the journey. He has no power over me now ✊️
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@Kip and @Hunkydory thank you so much ladies. I still struggle a lot and doubt myself so much so your wise words me more then you can know.
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I hope you find this news liberating. She will probably be getting all sorts of love bombing now but that will quickly turn to abuse as soon as that contract is signed. It is very sad for the next victim and hopefully the inevitable relationship end won’t be too many years off before the pattern repeats again
Onwards and upwards for you xx
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Can I just send a hug to meonscreen. I do understand what you mean about you ex being nice to someone else. BUT, since leaving my ex and have met (on and off line) a scary number of guys who exhibit the behaviours of a predator, like our exes. I can tell you it does not feel like they are being nice, once you work them out. Yes it feels great to receive the flattery and charm, bit once you notice that that is what it is it feels empty. It’s pure manipulation. They don’t change
LX
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