- This topic has 25 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
I threw him out and he went. After him being off all day yesterday and throwing rubbish at me and yelling at me on the doorstep. Today he has been off with me again hasn’t touched me all day or helped me out.he shouted in my face. He’s been shouting at the kids I told him to get out I threw his shoes and coat out the front door and then went to get his clothes. He told me to out them down he wanted to put them in a bag. So input them down and he threw them across the floor. I can down stairs and he packed his bags said good bye to the kids told me he would take me to court about the kids and left. He left his key and wedding ring on the shelf now what do I do. I’m heartbroken.
-
He will try to come back they’re like a bad penny. Least he dosent have a key xx can you go to stay with family or friends? I always say the first day and night is pretty tough. I remember the first week (I threw him out too) was hectic – I didn’t let my feet touch the ground I kept very busy intentionally xx get in touch with womens aid tomorrow and draw all your support around you xx
-
He won’t be gone for long. This is the push and pull of domestic abuse. If he returns I’d ring the police. You need to stand firm. Start making your own plans. Pack the rest of his belongings and send them to a friend or relative. He thinks he’s punishing you and you will come begging for him to come back. This is the mind games stage where zero contact is so important. You block him on all social media and your phone. You ask yourself what you have really lost. In reality you’re panicking because he’s conditioned you to behave this way. He’s given you a chance to get your life back and I’d grab it with both hands. Let the police know on 101 that he’s left and you’re scared he will return. They can put a police marker on your home x
-
He just rang me well the kids and he spoke to me I ended up crying and begging for him to want me and to be my husband that he once was. My god I know I shouldn’t do it but I just can’t be without him I’m so lost. (removed by moderator) but he said theirs no going back for us because (removed by moderator) just like (removed by moderator) did when he was younger. And it humiliated him.
-
The thing is mm you will go round in circles with him. This is trauma drawing you to him anyone who will comfort us will do because we feel so fragile and vulnerable. He is the wrong one to comfort you though. Can you go to be with family or a friend? Try to see this for what it is because he will talk you round tonight by tomorrow he will be throwing things at you and he will up the anti for throwing his things out. He is coming back with the view to punishing you for that xx he’s saying that he thinks he has the upper hand. Personally I’d leave with the kids get support and call the police let them know what’s happening. He will be removed and you’ll be safe xx this is a traumatic bond you have but with tome theses feelings will go xx
-
He will never ever be the husband you want him to be. That man was fake and still is. He is coming back to regain the control and punish you and round and round the cycle of abuse goes until you find the strength to step off that roundabout. Don’t let him back to stomp on your heart all over again. Recognise this for the abusive behaviour that keeps us trapped. The aggressive, frightening, dysfunctional behaviour he’s teaching your children x ring the helpline and speak to someone x
-
-
I can’t go anywhere I’m stuck here I can’t not let him in he is a joint tenant I understand what you say he’s not the one to comfort me but I have got no one else to turn to. And have (removed by moderator)kids and am (removed by moderator) months pregnant. I’m so confused and upset what do I say when he comes back.
-
Call the helpline just now. They will keep you right. You have lots of responsibilities and also pregnant so obviously your going to feel vulnerable so you need help with this xx I totally get where your coming from I had just one young child at the time and he would walk out on me I’d go into panic mode. I never understood why – to the point I’d have a panic attack. Would refuge be an option u would consider? Xx you definitely need womens aid at the back off you xx can you put him off from coming round? Xx
-
-
-
-
He’s a liar and a manipulator. He’s playing the victim now trying to put the spotlight on your behaviour and off his own aggressive dysfunctional abusive behaviour which his children will be learning from. He’s hoping you beg him to come back so he can feel even more like the big man instead of a pathetic abuser of women and children.
-
-
-
-
Well he has messaged me saying he was trying (removed by moderator) but they didn’t have any. They he said he is going to fight for his kids IV been nice saying he could stay here I can’t stop him but he said he doesn’t bwant to be in that position again. With me throwing him out. He said he is going to fight for the kids. So I have said see you in court.
-
-
-
You’ll get there it’s not love it’s toxic bonding – on his part if he loved you the way you deserve to be loved then he would put you and the kids first. He wouldn’t put u through this hurt. Stand strong if he starts tomorrow get the police xx my ex said the same actually that he would sleep in a car park he was actually tucked up cosy at his mums. They play the victim and it’s a tactic to make you back down xx call womens aid xx
-
-
-
I know this is probably not what you want to hear but this is your chance for you and your children to be free of abuse. I know this hurts like hell right now, you’re bound to be in a state of shock, but this is the hard part. You can do this. Can you talk to someone tomorrow? Speak with your local domestic abuse service, a friend or family member, your gp, counsellor? Find someone who help you through this hard part. Any threats or intimidation call the police. Keep all messages. I’m not sure him coming over for the kids (removed by moderator) is a safe plan. Are you sure you can trust him?
You’re not responsible for where he goes. He’ll give you all of the sob stories and threats of taking the children etc. It’s his way of scaring you into taking him back. Sending you strength and love. This pain you’re feeling right now will ease x -
Thank you all for your help he is in the house now.and I’m just ignoring what he says to me. He telling me my sister can never see my baby because she was there for me. He is just an abuser and can’t help himself. (detail removed by moderator) I think it’s going to be a long road but I have had enough.
-
You do need to get help hun because he won’t stop. Do it for the kids too. It’s no fun growing up with someone making their mum unhappy and for them it leaves an indelible mark on them. I know it’s hard the though off raising kids on your own but it sounds like you have family by your side. Him saying the baby won’t see your sister that’s not up to him but it is typical off an abuser. They isolate us so you rely on him more. His thinking will be she is vulnerable and she needs me so I can and will treat her the way I want. Theses men make us feel vulnerable but there is a big difference when they’re gone xx were a lot less vulnerable this is what we don’t see at the time. Lots of women before you have done this xx much love diymum
-
Thankyou DIY mum your support means alot to me. He has gone again now he’s had to go to work. He said he definitely doesn’t want me anymore but he loves me he said he can’t forgive me for throwing his shoes in the street. That’s fine after all he has done to me but I’m the one who it a lier and has done all sorts of things to him. He is totally innocent apparently even though he can’t stand my eldest child and said I wanted to go upstairs and smash all his stuff. I’m not doing this again I can’t do it anymore he stormed bout the house (detail removed by moderator)
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
