He’s gone and I want to tell him to come back!!

[Discombobulated2022]

Why why why? After lots of games and confusing conversations with no clear direction, he’s gone and I want to tell him to come back. I thought this is what I wanted?

[Chocolatebunnie]

Is possibly a trauma bond, you need to break.

Fear of the unknown, it hurts being with them but it’s familiar. Familiar is comfort but not good for you.

Time to be busy, paint your nails, pamper yourself, listen to music, draw, walk, see people, start a hobbies. Distraction is your new best friend.

Always remember you can post on here, there are helplines To reach out to.

focus on a bright future you’re strong independent free and happy, new things will come, positive new beginnings set a goal to achieve.

Hugs to you

CB X

[Discombobulated2022]

Thank you Chocolatebunnie

It’s the not the first time we’ve split. I’m so much stronger this time but I’m shocked how sad I am. I swore if I saw red flags he’d be gone and I stuck to it. But seeing my kids faces broke my heart. And there were good bits about him. I think I’m sad about the end of our family.
I absolutely agree with the calmer house comment. Mine already does. Just that weird atmosphere even though he was on “best behaviour”. It’s the broken happy ever after that is making me really sad.
Thank you. I’m taking those hugs xx

[Chocolatebunnie]

I’m with you as I’ve been where you too and gone back and the cycle starts again so I’m going to have to go through the break up again, not the first or second time.

I’m dreading it but know it has to be done but like you say, it’s the kids, the family unit the good times. But they don’t last and I can see how he’s damaging the children and my health. He’s already hurt my eldest children emotionally and that’s a hard one to except I should’ve done things a long time ago.

It’s heartbreaking but I guess we heal from this which won’t happen without making a change.

Stay strong, you’re not alone and doing amazing x

[tryingtosleep]

Hi @Discombobulated2022

After my ex left I realised how much calmer the house was.

I went a bit mental tidying everything and doing bits of the house up – (at least the few bits I could afford).

It made me feel like it was my place not his any more.

Even throwing out things he’d put in the fridge. Anything to reclaim the space.

It’s also good – if you have any notes or diaries of the time before – to keep reading them to remind yourself what life was like.

Good luck and look after yourself x

[Discombobulated2022]

Hi Tryingtosleep

Thank you for replying
Luckily I have a big family and I work so I’m constantly busy.
I have a REALLY long journal of the things he did that were not ok. Sometimes it feels like I’m reading about a different man! Because other times he was so lovely, I’m going to miss the way he kissed amongst other things. I’m sad. Xx

[Author]

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