it’s so hard to let go, I know. He keeps reeling you back in. It’s so hard to find the strength, but you will. Start thinking of little things that will help you prepare to leave, options as to where you could go, getting a bag ready in case you need it in a hurry, having some money aside if possible.
You absolutely don’t deserve that. Be kind to yourself, you can do it, you will do it. You’ll find the right time x*x