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    • #16370

      Fled to a refuge a while ago, moved into my own place again a while ago, for the last couple years I’ve been meeting relatives in a town (removed by moderator) – deemed a safe place.

      He’s followed family to that town and seen me before, and then I’ve bumped into/been seen by various different people who know me and know my perp.

      He’s suddenly moved to that town!! Not sure how I feel knowing he’s only a (removed by moderator) away from me now.

      He’s been formally charge very recently…police say he hasn’t taken it well. He genuinely thought he wouldn’t be charged. And he’s very very shocked and angry. Have safety plans in place and run through them with my more vulnerable relatives back in my hometown. All my locks are on my door tonight, it unnerves me that he’s closer now.

    • #16374
      deepblueeyes
      Participant

      Oh dear, I feel for you. Just when you think your life starting again. It’s horrible living with the fear that he will do something. I used to suffer terrible nightmares every night because of fear of being attacked. Stay safe and don’t give him an inch.

    • #16377

      I do think it’s too much of a coincidence that all of a sudden, out of the blue (just as he thinks he’s getting away with everything) he’s suddenly moved to a town where he knows I’ve been seen a heck of a lot. Perhaps I’m paranoid?

    • #16380
      deepblueeyes
      Participant

      Not paranoid, just aware of their tactics. They will stop at nothing. Of course that’s why he is there.

    • #16383

      Thank you, can feel that creeping feeling that I’m crazy sneaking into my brain. It definitely helps to have reassurance that I’m not totally losing it. I know him. Even now, after all this time. The day he was formally charged went EXACTLY as I said it would. I knew exactly when he was going to go in thinking he was gonna be let off, I knew it would be around an important celebration date for me because he was so certain it’d be dropped and then he’d have ruined my celebration. More fool him, but I knew it.

    • #16404
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Oh no! Can you get rehoused?
      Great that he got charged! Absolutely wonderful!

    • #16412

      Oops I got moderated (Sorry Lisa!) I forgot :s

      Hi Ayanna, I really don’t want to have to move again…I’ve moved so much. Moving will depend on how the trial goes…if he gets sent down I won’t need to move, if not then I will seriously consider it.

    • #16423
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, I’m assuming he has bail conditions. If not, get in touch with the police and ask for them. It’s something I’m struggling with, the thought of seeing him around. He’s been at the bottom of my street. Don’t ever believe it’s a coincidence with these men. My ex has no shame. He’s been convicted and still acts like he’s done nothing wrong. Log every time you see him. I need advice on how to deal with the fear long term. I’m hoping eventually it will totally subside x

    • #16438

      Hey KIP, good to hear from you!

      Yeah he has bail conditions not to contact, and now he’s been charged they carry more weight than pre-charge bail did. If he breaches now then he could face being remanded…was just a shock knowing he’s suddenly so close by? And the one place I’ve deemed as ‘safe’ for x-years and been seen there alot. Don’t want to go back to being afraid all the time again.

      How are you doing with it all? Do you have a restraining order as he’s been convicted? X*x

    • #16450
      godschild
      Participant

      A book I read recently her abuser was under order not to contact her or go within a certain distance but he moved house as close as he legally could just to disturb her. she had alarms fitted and a direct line to the police but she felt very threatened by it , its another attempt at control and cause fear it seems, they never stop

    • #16478

      What a horrible thing to do!

      I have an alarm on my door (which I currently don’t use) and have ALOT of locks left by the previous tenant, have bolted all of them.

      Not feeling afraid as such, it’s unnerved me for a couple of days but I have enough locks on my door that I’m absolutely certain that no one could get through that! And have my safety plans in place. I won’t stop going to that town, can imagine i’ll be a bit jumpy and nervy at first but if he breaches his bail conditions he’ll be up in front of a judge. I just have to make sure I’m not followed back to the method of public transport I use to get home.

      I guess I’m doing okay? x

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