He’s ramping up the abuse

[Eggshells]

Well, since I left he is really ramping up the abuse. He has sent a number of very long emails full of emotional blackmail, lies and subdefuge.

He is trying to get me to pay a lump sum to my son for uni despite him claiming on his expenses that he is paying my son a large monthly sum for this. He has clearly claimed this to get a more favourable financial settlement.

He has lied repeatedly to my son about why he put this amount on his expenses and why he now isn’t paying it and I have had to hit my son with a few home truths. E.g. Put yourself in Dad’s shoes, why would you do what he has done, say what he has said. I’ve had to be totally upfront about the lies that his Dad has told, lies that my son will be able to see clearly once they’re pointed out. But it feels like I’m working on my son and I really didn’t want that to happen. I’m also worried that my son will think this is just me trying to turn him against his Dad. It’s tearing us apart.

I’ll email (detail removed by moderator) today to tell him that in future, all negotiations must go through my solicitor and not to email again.

The trouble is, we will still be working together and he is my boss at work (for the time being) so I can’t go no contact.

This has made up my mind though. As soon as the divorce is settled I’m going to the police.

 

[KIP.]

Just carry on being honest. You don’t need to badmouth your ex to your son. Just answer his questions honestly and if his dad starts using him to ask you questions then say it’s between his dad and you and you don’t want to have him caught in the middle. Tell your solicitor about the lies. You can prove his lies too. The court won’t like that. The gloves are off. Mine did the same x

[KIP.]

He’s not ever going to be reasonable. He’s going to lie and deny and leave you with nothing if he can. Find out what you’re entitled to and don’t waste time and money trying to negotiate. Use the courts. It might be more expensive short term but long term will save you money and stress. Speak to your solicitor and make sure she knows he’s abusive x

[Eggshells]

Hi KIP, Thank you. She does know he is abusive. Despite me asking him not to he has emailed me again. I have forwarded it to my solicitor with an explanation of his lies.

This is awful.

[KIP.]

Change your email address and your phone number and don’t give it to him.

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