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    • #6760
      Tamra
      Participant

      talk about paranoid. My ex has gone to the place where my sons girlfriend works. I nearly went up there with my son for a meal and then thought it’s too expensive so didn’t go. Glad I didn’t as she txt me to say it’s a good job I didn’t as he is in there, I then checked if she was with him and no she isn’t. I’m now in over drive thinking why has he gone in there he hasn’t been there for a long time. I know he knows she works there but not when. Anyway it sent me into panic thinking it’s so he can get at me as he knows she will tell me.
      Now I have to think actually he’s gone in there for a drink. A friend of mine said he knows she will tell you and to get inside your head and then said i’m not to think everything he does is to get at me – I get totally confused as even people I trust don’t seem to make sense.
      I think I’m just paranoid and that’s what this toxic relationship has done to me
      X

    • #6765
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi

      Like to say your paranoid but I doubt it. They love playing head games.

      Stay strong and try not to let it get to you xx

    • #6766
      Ladyface
      Participant

      Unfortunately relationships like this leave us paranoid, not only about other people but about ourselves ….we doubt ourselves so much…sometimes I sit there and think what’s happened to me….when did I become such a shadow….

      Lucky enough…I’m getting on the right path now…but at times I’m still battling this massive anxiety paranoid eggshell ball of nastiness….

      Lucky my partner understands but it’s so hard…on everyone…

      Keep strong…Keep looking forward … Remember your waiting for yr earth heaven to catch up x x lots of love

    • #6767
      Tamra
      Participant

      Thank you Falling Skys

      It’s just awful how they have got under our skin.
      My ex is a great head worker but I always try to think Nope it’s for my benefit so I don’t get to tangled in it and then on the flip side I think well he’s thinking of me and will he change – what a joke change no way

      I am calming down and not walking round like a headless chicken.

      Thank you xx

    • #6768
      Tamra
      Participant

      Thank you Ladyface

      It sure does turn our lives upside down and inside out and leaves us with paranoid thoughts about everything.

      I’ve only left a few months ago so still getting though the first stage of the grief and loss.

      Sounds like you have a supportive partner hope I find one one day

      Lots of love xx

    • #6771
      Ladyface
      Participant

      Tamar

      I’ve been gone a few years….but I’m still suffering the effects …I.e low self worth…snapping people up…major trust issues can’t take compliments the list goes on…

      The anxiety is the worst ….when people go quiet I’m thinking it’s going to b**w or something I’ve done wrong or its my fault…I’m sorry is a frequent words used…

      It took months for me to stop apologizing

      U will find that happiness and love….I promise u…although I found it as scary as hell….my partner New somehow that he had to play everything gently as I wouldn’t accept anything…like help…he started by fixing the toilet…lol…he said I knew up wouldn’t have it….so I just thought gently gently…he has the patience of a saint to deal with me and my ten tun of issues….I still get extremely anxious and scared at times…I find the phrase I’m free helps.

      X

    • #6772
      Tamra
      Participant

      Wow you were effected by your ex in a big way.
      I’m glad your new partner is taking care and time which sounds lovely.
      I can hear the pain the abuse also has created s dark shadow over you and that’s the but I struggle with. I’m trying so hard to get though each day and not let the anxiety over take me but people also try and push me to do things I don’t want to do just yet as I’m not quite ready.
      the person he is out with doesn’t even know my ex and his wife had/nearly had a moment together, I picked up on it and challenged him and he lied for ages and then one day knew he had to tell me the truth so I just don’t trust as easy anymore as he was the one I should have trusted and took care of how each other felt but no that was very one sided.
      I do hope I can trust again otherwise life will be full of pain I think

      Xx

    • #6773
      Ladyface
      Participant

      Trust…it’s one I struggle with…

      My ex cheated on me with my best friend…and on sex dating sites…he was emotionless…like when my step dad was dying of cancer …it was all about him his mother told me his other women were my fault! ….Trust my dear is earnt…but for us accepting it..is a completely different ball game…sometimes people say I love u…and I look and think..but do u? Are u sure? Why do you…there’s nothing to love! It’s stopping myself and saying hang on a min that’s his mind speaking not mine! Making me question myself and others and my god trust is hard…

      You will do everything when you are ready….I suffered with panic attacks and phobias and one by one as I healed they started to go….I wouldn’t even use the dishwasher as I was frightened it would catch fire and I couldn’t deal with it…because he’d made me feel useless…but you will do them…just say…give me space and time to grow and heal…I will then conquer each one in turn….like last week I quad biked up a volcano (removed by moderator)!

      You can do this…you can heal and you will be happy…x

    • #6774
      Tamra
      Participant

      Like your ex mine cheated a number of times with our friend, dating sites, work colleagues, random women and yes the one I mentioned above. I had a friendship with his friend when he cheated on me and he believed we had sex but we didn’t but I paid for that for years and all we did was talk about my ex and how much I loved him – I think my ex wanted me to be like him and told lies that I had sex with that guy. I had to ring him twice and tell him I couldn’t see him anymore it was awful as all he did was support me and my ex made out we did something terrible he even went as far to cut off his friend because he Wudnt say sorry to him and called my ex childish I also paid for that too.
      I saw that man not long again but even tho my ex had a new woman but I still lived with him I couldn’t start another friendship with the man as I felt guilty and when I ask my self the truth I don’t see why not but I know it will cause me grief so I cut him off again to save anymore trouble.
      I find myself questioning most things being said to me which is why I feel so paranoid about most things

      Thank you for you support

      Xx

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