He’s sorry – why won’t I try?

[Aida]

So here we are, AGAIN.

He can’t understand why I won’t try – after all this time I am just going to give up.

Then I get “you got what you wanted”, he’s sad I don’t want to try again. Ladies, how many times should we try before we say enough is enough? Wish all had been feeling was sad. Now I don’t feel nothing but anxiety, uncertainty and fear. Sat at crossroad bewildered not remembering the journey here with no clue which path to take.

I’m frightened of my future and that love will be hard to find but I want to know if this is it? what love is for me or whether fate has something waiting out there for me?

I wish I would stop questioning myself, the children, and the future. Isn’t life too short for all of this? Do you ever really know the right answer? Does anyone who leaves ever have any regret? This is like being on a roundabout and not knowing when to take the leap of faith.

[diymum@1]

i can honestly say and i cant speak for every woman but no there wont be regrets. abuse makes us feel like were walking a tightrope. i rememberhaving an overwhelming feeling at the same cross road off telling myself you cant afford to cave you cant afford to have a breakdown for the sake off the kids really. it wasnt an option and i knew he was pushing me towards this. thats what made me fianally turn round and say you know what im out. dont get me wrong these men dont give up easily because it dosent occur to them that theyv done wrong xx they usually walk away unscathed compered to us! you will never know whats round the corner if you dont end this chapter in your life. it can be tricky to navigate safely from an abuser but with the right support from wa etc it is totally doable. i can say i did find love my life is free from a dictator and it is a million times better. it was the best words i ever spoke as above. i never looked back from there xx

[Anonymous]

I tried so hard and so many times to make it work. Took him back so often. The only regret I have is that I didn’t give up sooner.

[lover of no contact]

I have absolutely no regrets that I got out of my abusive marriage. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner like some of the ladies on here either before the marriage or when the children were small. I didn’t see he was abusive until my children were teens when he started escalating his behaviour. And at that stage I was well and truly trapped emotionally and financially and by my own religious beliefs that marriage was for life etc.

[Aida]

Thank you ladies, your words of support keep me strong. I have family and friends but the words of survivors is what I need to hear right now. It’s funny as it has always been there, I have just this evening been reminded of something truly awful that I had just simply forgotten (normalised!). There are so many chapters to our story and I know deep down this can’t be never ending.

Thank you for being there for me. X*x

[Daisydo]

Aida, I’m in exactly the same boat. I have told him I want to seperate and I want him to let me * the children remain in our family home. And I get alot of he doesn’t understand why I don’t give us ANOTHER try for our family after all of these years of being together, why I don’t let down this brick wall I’ve built between us, I am the one mentally abusing him with rejection and treating him worst than any human deserves. Sound familiar? They all.use the same tactics and in the end it’s desperation on their behalf because they are losing control. He had agreed to move out but is finding every excuse not to
And I’m getting so much guilt thrown at me, they don’t understand it’s their actions that get us to this place! It’s a long road but hopefully we can turn a corner soon.
DD xx

[Aida]

Daisydo, thanks for your support. It is a long road but I am hopeful that we will find our rainbow at the end of it. Knowing that we can share our stories here will keep us all strong. Xx

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