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Over a year in to the divorce from my husband who I think (sometimes, I’m so full of doubt) was emotionally abusive.
Still in the same house. He hasn’t spoke to be in many many months. Shuts the door in my face if I try (even about something like asking if he has seen one of the kid’s books). Even in front of the kids he won’t even speak to me or look at me.
He will respond to email (eventually). When I email about somethings, e.g. (detail removed by Moderator)…He says we could talk about that in counselling.
I tried to organise a counsellor but he said she was (detail removed by Moderator), so I started looking for another.
I just don’t know what I’m doing though. I’d be happy to communicate, be amicable etc. If I’m doing anything to make him feel like he can’t communicate, then I don’t know what it is because he hasn’t told me.
Why is he suggesting counselling? He could just talk to me, if he wanted to. I’m sure he doesn’t want to reconcile. It’s all just making me wonder what is wrong with me again.
I want to try and improve the situation for the kids, but I also wonder if counselling might set me back in my healing. I feel so stuck.
Sorry for the rambling post. Just looking for some support.
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I think you’re right to be wary. Why would he want counselling if he’s so set firm in ignoring you? He’d need to be making efforts to communicate or be civil first. I suspect, like a lot of abusers the counselling will most likely be a way to attack you, make you doubt yourself, make him out to be the victim, or to say to others ‘I suggested counselling and she refused’. I’m so sorry you’re living like this, I did it for months and it’s awful, hope you get some relief soon xx
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