He’s trying to get back into my head, and I stupidly let him

[Slipup19]

Im (detail removed by moderator)yrs free, was no contact for a while and heard he was living with a woman and her kids. He looked like he had the perfect life which made me angry, how dare he be allowed this when all I got in (detail removed by moderator) yrs was abuse. So….. I broke no contact to see how he was and well he’s played his games, tried love bombing me again abd reeled me in like a fish.

I’m so stupid. Realised what was happening and I’m back to no contact. I feel like an idiot

[SunshineRainflower]

You’re not stupid. You had a moment of weakness but already you can see what has happened. I think you already know the best thing is to go no contact again and block him.

I had one abusive ex try to contact me years and years after I ended things. He would turn up on all sorts of different social media sites and email me etc. Just keep blocking and deleting.

Remember that it’s all an illusion. His seemingly perfect life is an illusion. He will sadly be abusing his new partner too, because that’s what they do.

And maybe choose a task to do this weekend that is all about you and your future, so you’re not focused on him. There are year planning tools online for example where you sit down with a cuppa and plan out your goals, hopes and dreams for the year. It will take the focus back off him and onto you again. I’m going to fill in one myself, it always makes me feel better.

Also, cut off contact with people who are reporting things back to you about him, if that’s how you found out. If it was social media, just block him on everything so you can’t get drawn back in.

[KIP.]

Hi, the way you started your post ‘I’m (detail removed by moderator) years free’ may well have been ‘I’m (detail removed by moderator) years sober’. It a similar addiction and that’s why zero contact is so important. These men are toxic and no experience is wasted. So now you know his life is an illusion and he hasn’t changed at all. He was prepared to cheat on her and go behind her back and his entitled behaviour will definitely be rife in that relationship. A lucky escape for you and a lesson learned. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[Slipup19]

The way you put it has totally opened my eyes and made me realise that he hasn’t changed. And yes it is an addiction and I need to get back on the wagon so to speak x

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