Hi

[Drumsticklolly]

Hi.

It’s taken me a while to write on here and come to terms with the fact that I have to call myself a victim and a survivor of domestic violence. I’ve always thought of myself as a strong person and admitting this and being in a relationship like this makes me feel weak.

I was with my ex for over (detail removed by Moderator) years and have 2 children together. I got pregnant quite quick, promised the earth and made everything seem amazing and then after I was pregnant and moved in he was mentally abusive towards me. He was physical once after my first pregnancy and then was more physical, aggressive and violent when my second daughter was born. He was always disappointed with the result of having girls. He always wanted a boy and on numerous occasions called our youngest son and said she looked like a boy. I don’t want them to be subjected to the abuse I was, they already witnessed the abuse and feel it’s unfair to them

(detail removed by Moderator) He’s told numerous lies to social services and throwing money and solicitors to get his own way. Handovers for the children are quite stressful and his mother is becoming aggressive towards me and noone seems to do anything. I hate the thought of opening an email going to handovers, leaving the house alone I hate that it has come to this.

[KIP.]

Hey and welcome. Survivors of abuse are the strongest women on this Planet and you can use that strength now. Admitting you have been the victim of an abuser is actually such a strong thing to do. We live in denial because it’s far too painful to face the truth so well done for that. It’s a huge step. Do you have support from your local women’s aid? You need to gather a support network around you. Your GP, women’s aid, friends and family that understand. Some Else who can open that email and handle the hand overs. There’s also victim support. Evidence is important so try writing a journal of all the abuse and absolutely keep a journal now of his behaviour and his mother and the impact it has on you and the children. Always use a third party for contact or handovers, start as you mean to go on. A family member or friend or contact centre. He’s displaying typical abuser behaviour when they lose control. It’s all about him and not what’s best for the children. Absolutely zero direct contact and that includes his mother. Your local women’s aid will have access to legal help and have a wealth of knowledge which you can tap into. There are also many organisations and charities now to help women navigate the court system so google those that are local. Rights for Women have a free legal helpline and website. Depending on your area. Check out Twitter too. You’re much stronger than you think and being proactive now will empower you, even though you’re exhausted try to dig a bit deeper and reach out for help. The NSPCC have a helpline too and there’s the national domestic abuse helpline which is 24/7. Set your boundaries now and keep posting. Lots of help and support on here x

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