Dear BeansOnToast,
Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.
I’m so sorry to read what you’ve been through in your life, you explain extremely serious abuse. If you’ve not done so already I suggest contacting a specialist organisation called NAPAC, who who support people who have been abused in childhood. They have a support line, self help resources on their website and offer local groups as well.
Kind Regards,
Lisa
Forum Moderator