Hi. I am new and need advice pls.

[Dilu]

Hi

I have been married (removed by moderator) years and have got (removed by moderator) children. I am so unhappy in my marriage and I never truly loved him. I stayed with him for the
Sake of staying with him and genuinely thought I could make it work. But now it came to the point where I hate him so much and cant even be in the same room as him. We dont talk at all in the house and communicate by text if we have to. He doesn’t help me look after the kids. My daughter is (removed by moderator)..first boy is turning (removed by moderator) and second son has just turned (removed by moderator). He doesn’t do any parenting with me. He doesnt take them out. They are stuck indoors most of the time and only go out to church on sundays. I never take them out by myself as I wont be able to handle them both alone as they are very close to age and naughty as well. My husband is addicted to social media and spends all his spare time on his phone and this has been going on for many years. In result of this, I felt that he went showing me interest so started an affair (removed by moderator) years ago. But now I hot caught. To take revenge my husband should at me in front my pir kids, on the road and was calling me words such as b***h and w***e in front of them. Now he has turned my daughter against me. I dont know how to deal with this.

I am so desperate to leave him but dont want to take the kids with me as I dont know where I will be going. I dont want to uproot my daughter as (removed by moderator). I am stuck and I am getting a lot of pressure from my family as well. They are all against me and dont care about how I feel. Now my husband is telling me i shouldn’t work and stay home with kids.
Does he have the right to force me to leave work?
How can i protect myself.

[Escapee]

Hi,

No he can not!!

He does not have the right to shout at you and call you names either.

There’s a support charity called rights for women that others have mentioned on here…. perhaps you could give them a call as it sounds like you need legal advice.

You don’t mention very much about the abuse you’ve experienced so I don’t know how helpful a DA charity or the police would be.If you’ve been dealing with any form of domestic abuse but you can’t bring yourself to speak about it on here (it can be so hard to place the blame firmly where it belongs) maybe you could open up to a support worker.

But to reiterate, he doesn’t have any right to say what you do or don’t do.

Sending you strength and hugs xx

[Dilu]

Hi.

The abuse are not physical but there are more like mental torture and everything. When hes angry at me he takes it out on the boys. For example he kicked my eldest boy on his face in Sept and then he kicked my second son on his chest last week. He wants to know who I talk to, who my friends are, where am going and literally trying to control me
He has turned my daughter against me by telling her about the affair I had. I know it was wrong of me but people dont understand that it’s hard to be always with the kids and not have anyone to share your feelings with. When I spend time with the other guy I feel happy but I never deserted my kids to be with this other guy. I always made sure that my husband was home to look after them. I just need to feel loved and laugh st silly jokes and be romantic with someone. Is that wrong ? How can I force myself to love my husband when I never felt any love for him.

[Author]

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