- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 10 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Hello. I have an abusive ex partner who specialises in gaslighting, emotional blackmail & abuse on myself & our 2 children.
He is having a devastating effect on their well being but is a master manipulator & n********t who doesn’t ever acknowledge he’s done a thing. He assaulted me (detail removed by Moderator) but still says it was a set up. Delusional. I am struggling with the relentless rants/threats/abuse. It’s all a very long story but I wondered if anyone here had young teens that they were trying to protect (emotionally) as any advice would be welcome. I’m exhausted. Serious cocaine & gambling background to this man. He knows I always do the right thing & he relies on me not calling the police etc as he knows I wouldn’t want the kids witness to that. It’s too much. It’s just all too much. Thank you. -
🙂 Hello Strongboat and welcome! I’m sorry to read what you and your children have and are enduring. I can tell you that many good women here will come along after me with similar experiences as you and the advice your looking for. I can’t help with this I’m sorry. But I can suggest that the “right thing” may be to think..what is it? that the children have seen? Felt emotionally affected by? Possibly, so much they shouldn’t have already. Calling the police if need be, to protect them! you! is probably the right thing! What do you think? 💞
-
Sounds like a nightmare. If he knows you do the right thing, maybe you should call the police on him. Could you arrange for the kids to be elsewhere? There’s a book called “When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse” by Lundy Bancroft which is good and could help you understand the effects. Trauma Recovery Centre has a good resource list. Could you ask school for practical help. There are a lot of online resources and counselling happening in lockdown. Most of all, though I know its not easy to hear, maybe its best to remove the cause rather than put a plaster on it? Early teens is such a tough age as it is. In the long run I am sure they will understand what you did was for the best. Maybe. Just a thought. This is a really supportive forum and I am sure someone here has had this experience with teens. Mine are small, I’m planning on leaving because they are small.
Sending you strength as it sounds like a nightmare x -
Ive just bumped the booklist there are some good suggestions there…
Here are some I pulled out but looks like there are more.xNo More Misbehaviour – Michele Borba; this book is very practical and down to earth for a huge range of behaviour problems.an excellent choice for mothers who have been abused and are struggling with the ways in which their children are acting out.
Nanny 911 youtubes are still great for parenting. Love these ladies!
Reviving Ophelia – Saving the Selves of Adult Girls – Mary Pipher
How to Mother a Successful Daughter – Nicky Marone
The Explosive Child – Ross Greene
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk – Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma – Bessel van der Kolk
My Mother/My Self: The Daughter’s Search for Identity – Nancy Friday
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
