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Hi I’m currently still living with my ex. I can’t move out due to nowhere to go and financial reasons. I made to decision to end the relationship. I realised it was unhealthy (he gambles and drinks but refuses to realise this has affected the relationship)he has been.extremely clever in u’d. The past. Twisting conversations around & during arguments criticises me for things I don’t do right. We live with our son & he has recently said I can. leave but I must leave my son with him. I can’t explain his behaviour to him. He talks for hours & I’m so drained I end up trying to keep the peace by agreeing with him. The other..thing that worries meIis he still wants an intimate relationship & I feel extremely coerced by this. I have close friends to talk to win win who have been great. But it’s so hard.living in it! Sorry for.text my phone isn’t great. Just needed to get this off my chest after so long.
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Hi Livingonaprayer, I am sorry you are having to live in this awful situation at the moment, but it sounds like you have a clear insight into his behaviour. Saying that you can only leave if you leave your son is classic. He suspects you won’t be able to do this. Please don’t do this out of desperation as he will use the situation to hurt you further through hurting your son. Ring the helpline and/or check the website for your local women’s aid outreach service so you can receive support to plan more carefully to end the relationship. I know you say it’s not possible to leave, but it will be. There are more options than you realise. You probably find you manage much better financially without him wasting so much money! I left my home, even though I owned it, and left the kids with him more than me, out of sheer desperation to get away. I really regret this now and wish I had got support. I was still in denial and very much under my ex’s control back then. Being coerced into being intimate is sexual abuse or rape and the will be very damaging to your self-esteem and mental health. So, of course is his emotional abuse. I’m glad to hear you have some close friends to support you. I wish you luck and strength to get you and your son free from this situation. You deserve to live free of this abuse xx
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Thankyou peaceful pig. I am currently able to bid on council properties and had a lot of help from a lovely gentlman who seemed to understand my situation. My ex likes to remind me it could take years for me to get a place. Abit of background, we have been together a while & he suffers with anxiety so I feel a lot of guilt for ending the relationship. I just need to hang on in there. It’s never been physical only mental & emotional abuse. It’s just got worse since I ended it. I phoned WA last wk. I may pop to see them for a chat soon. X
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