Hi, I’m new here

[honeyskies]

Hi,
I’m new here. I was with my abuser for just under (detail removed by moderator) years before his first arrest. He has been arrested (detail removed by moderator) times since and after (detail removed by moderator) court cases he was finally imprisoned about (detail removed by moderator) months ago. However he got early leave due to COVID-19. I have really struggled with everything and I feel so isolated and alone. I am still quite young and at university and no one around me seems to understand or have experienced what I have. I know there are lots of survivors out there but I seem to have not met any yet. Due to COVID I had to move back home as I couldn’t afford rent on my furloughed wage, unfortunately home is across the road from my abuser. This has resulted in a complete breakdown of my mental health, I refuse to leave the house for any reason in case I see him and I’m constantly terrified. I just feel so empty and alone in these feelings. I’ve tried looking for local support groups as I think they would be really helpful for me to meet other survivors and not feel so alone but I’ve found nothing so far. I was hoping this forum might be able to help me feel less alone in all this. I was wondering if anyone had any advice or tips to try and start combating these feeling so I can start living a normal and healthy life.
Thank you.

[Sleepy]

Sounds like a really difficult position to be in. I was young when I was in an abusive relationship, not long after Uni, and it is really daunting at that age, you just don’t know where to turn. And even when I moved out he was coming round and trying to phone etc, quite scary at times.
Could you talk to your GP? They may know of local support groups and may be able to advise you about your mental health, and hopefully get you support.
If he’s been in prison he’s likely to be on probabtion so will have to be careful, could you speak to the local police and explain the situation, not sure what they’ll be able to do but it doesn’t sound great that you’re terrified of going out, though totally understandable.
Are you going back to Uni in the autumn? Sounds like half the problem is that he is living close to you.
Not sure what else to suggest off the top of my head but I’m sure others will have some ideas.
Thinking of you
Sleepy

[Eggshells]

Hi Honeyskies, Welcome to the forum.

You really are in a horrible situation and I completely understand your situation.

Do you have a keyworker from your local DV charity? If not, it would be a really good idea to phone and ask for one. They will be able to advise you.

I’m not sure if he was inprisoned because of something he did to you or if it was for other reasons. If it was because of something he did to you, you should definitely let the police now what is happening.

Others will hopefully come along who have more experience of this side of things and they will be able to give you the low down on court orders etc to keep him away from you. xx

[Lisa]

Hi honeyskies,

just to echo what others have said it might be worth contacting your local domestic abuse service. It’s completely understandable why you’d be feeling so anxious considering you’re living so close to him. What your local domestic abuse service may be able to do would be to sit down with you and support you with your finances/ help you access any additional benefits you might be eligible for and give you practical help with your housing situation. They also often have access to support groups and/ or the Freedom Programme.

Remember you can also contact a Women’s Aid support worker via the Live Chat available from 10am today,

Take care and keep posting,

Lisa

[Author]

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