Hi I’m new here and wanted to say hello

[Sledge123]

Hi, I’m new to the site. I left my husband of (detail removed by moderator) due to domestic violence (detail removed by moderator) ago. We have (detail removed by moderator) children. He has a drink problem and isn’t vvery nice when drunk. I was still recieving tthreatening messages from him up until last week. which is having a massive impact on me. He blames me for ruining his life by leaving.To be honest I never wanted to leave, it was the children who did. Family services stepped in so I left. I always thought he would stop drinking, realise the damage he had caused and we would move back. My children have all had problems due his drinking and have had counselling.
Up until (detail removed by moderator), I thought we were still trying to work it out, then I received divorce papers in the post. I was devastated. Even after everything he put us through, I still miss him. I feel pathetic and stupid even saying that, but I can’t help how I feel. He is all I know. Our kids are (detail removed by moderator). Apart from our (detail removed by moderator), the older kids have blocked him as he sends them threatening messages also.
How do I move on and start again. How do I tell myself I deserve better? No matter how much abuse I recieved, to me that is normal. How do I get passed this.
He has no blocked Me, so I suppose no more abusive messages. He doesn’t support me financially as he thinks he doesn’t have to because I left him. So I claim universal credit as a single parent.
It really is a mess. I never thought in a million years I would be in this situation. I don’t have family nearby, they live about (detail removed by moderator) away, so I’m really struggling and covid has made it worse.
Anyway, sorry for the long post. I just wanted to share my story.

[Empoweredhealing]

I would highly recommend therapy or a support group for survivors of abuse. When I went to therapy after my relationship, I thought we would spend a lot of time talking about the abuse. Instead, my therapist and I spent more tine exploring my childhood and the unspoken beliefs that make me attracted to and stayed with an abuser. This foundational work is needed to be free of this abuser and any other abusers that you’ll come across in the future.

[Author]

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