Hi I,m new…. is this abuse?

[Lilminx]

Hi I’m new here and this is my story, please bare with me as it may be a tad long winded so I will apologise now ..
My story starts I guess as many others have done , I met him when I was a young adult , I’ve never been one to feel instant attraction but one night a friend asked me to go to what they called then a social club , I went and enjoyed myself so agreed to go along the next fortnight, half way thru the night a guy walked in and I thought “wow” but as I have a very low opinion of myself I didn’t think he’d look at me so started to dance with a very large man , who turned out to be friends of the one I liked , he danced on my toes and offered to walk me home , I declined as I was catching a taxi home, however a fortnight later I bumped into him again and his friend asked if he could visit me in the week, I agreed and the one I actually liked asked if he could come to, the day arrived and only the guy I liked turned up, he’d sent the other to the wrong address, he moved in straight away, the relationship only last a (detail removed by Moderator) as he beat me, raped me and knocked me out, not to mention he stole from me and cheated on me , I kicked him out and moved on, married someone , had kids etc , a (detail removed by Moderator) passed and I called in on a friend I hadn’t seen in years and my ex was sitting there and before I knew it we embarked on a (detail removed by Moderator) long fling , I left my husband and moved in with the ex , before long the head messes started , there was no beating or knocking out just the rape and the head stuff, we married had kids and another (detail removed by Moderator) went by and I left , moved area , remarried and another (detail removed by Moderator) went by , he then turned up and (detail removed by Moderator) as gone by , he forced himself into our lives and never left , he always changes subject whenever I start a conversation, but I,m expected to listen to the rubbish he talks about despite him knowing I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about , nothing is ever his fault , if something as been moved in the home then I’ve done it , if someone annoys him it’s my fault , if I don’t hear him he goes mad yet when he doesn’t hear me it’s because I,m mumbling, he doesn’t listen to anything I have to say and that’s when he’s not changing the subject but will change the subject half way thru the conversation and will start a conversation off in his head then finish it out loud , expecting me to automatically know what he’s talking about , he is Mr Always Right , his word is gold and it’s his world , we live to serve him and to please him , if he wants sex he will take it whether I want it or not , he demands hugs and kisses and doesn’t care if his personal hygiene is lacking but moans when I may smell a little , is this abuse or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?

[Lightness]

You’re not making a mountain out of a molehill. My ex used to talk at me constantly and then he would test me on what I had said and get angry if I hadn’t listened to it all. He was completely uninterested in anything I wanted to talk about. Mine was also always right and took no responsibility for anything – just blamed everything/everyone else but himself. Classic abuser tactics.

[Lilminx]

Well I’m kinda glad I’m not making a mountain out of a molehill, but this is him and don’t fully understand why I keep going back to him time and time again, I can’t even say I go back in a short space of time because I don’t, it’s always many years later and I’d moved on etc but he turns up and that’s it, game over

[KIP.]

You are with a violent rapist. No you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. Abuse always gets worse. Can you ring the helpline number on here or get in touch with your local women’s aid?

[Lilminx]

I’m in one of them predicaments where I currently need him , yes he’s well aware of this fact too, but the (detail removed by Moderator) I’m taking a two week vacation, it’s already been paid for in a will left the me, I need my partner to watch my son and pet, taking my son isn’t an option as he’s sitting exams . I have no friends and my family lives hundreds of miles away , if I tell my partner to get lost now I’d only have to beg him and plead with him to watch my son and pet and then of course he’d insist on staying in my home for the duration, you know to save him the trouble of coming back and forth , then when I return I’ll be back to square one of getting him to leave and keeping him away

[Author]

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