Hi, I’m new to the page

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

So I’m new on here, let me just say I’m so glad I found this page cause I thought it was just me. So my partner has been emotionally and financially abusive for the best part of (detail removed by moderator). He screams, swears, smashes things up. He accuses me of cheating a lot, goes mental about the tiniest thing and will be really spiteful and nasty whether it be about money or about my appearance. Every time I get upset he’ll say only kids cry and that I need to grow up. We have a (detail removed by moderator) daugher together,I want to leave for her sake. I don’t know how to though, through him not working he has put me in a lot of debt, we both rent our house together so as both our names are on the tenancy one cannot force the other out. It’s a council house and the only way a name can be removed from the tenancy is if both parties are in agreement and write a signed letter, there’s no way in hell he will do that. I can’t afford to hire a solicitor and I can’t afford to move out and let him have the house otherwise I would do that although he’s said that if I go our daughter will not be going with me so I can’t leave as I don’t want to leave her with him. I’ve thought about taking her to my mums which is 4 hours away one day whilst he’s out but I spoke to an abuse helpline and that is classed as kidnap apparently. So I’m stuck 🙁

[KIP.]

Hey there. I’d ring Rights for Women who offer free legal advice. I doubt very much it is kidnap so ring Rights for Women. They can tell you all about non molestation orders and occupation orders. You can have him removed from the property if he is being abusive which he is. You just need proof. I recorded my husband attacking me. Start with reporting his behaviour to your GP and emphasise that it is causing you mental health problems. Anxiety fear etc. Ring the helpline number on here. Find your local women’s aid. Mine took me to the council housing and explained my situation. They may be able to rehouse you or at least take your name off the lease where you are. I’ve been through what you are going through. My ex used to say that I could leave but no way was I taking our child. Threats about suicide. Calling me names, destroying my self confidence and self esteem. I know how daunting this all is that’s why your local women’s aid are fantastic. Ring the helpline then Rights for Women. You both deserve better. You could always take your child to your mums and tell him you’re both going for a visit but make sure you get legal advice from the helpline. My ex used to say hurtful things to me too me then say I was too sensitive!

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Thanks for the reply and the advice! I didn’t think it would be classed as kidnap either but it just scared me when they said it would be. I have no proof as of yet so my plan is t voice record him being abusive so I’d needed I can use it as proof. Last New Year’s Eve I did report him to the police (he doesn’t know) because he took my phone off me and locked me in the house because he thought I was cheating. The police just said if anything happens again to contact them but I did have to go down to the station to make a statement, would that count as proof do you think? My mums coming up for Xmas on Wednesday so I wouldn’t be able to go down to hers until after new year without it seeming odd. I will phone the helpline on here and speak to them when he’s out 🙂

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