Hi..new here

[Cherub]

Hi…i’m new here but not sure if i belong as the majority of the domestic abuse i suffered was a long time ago and i can see that for most of people on here it’s a fairly recent thing. I feel that because it happened to me when i was just starting out in life and barely an adult myself it’s shaped who i have become as a person…the put downs started while i was pregnant with my first child which i had very young…then the day after she was born the physical abuse started…i have had 3 long term relationships which i have suffered some form of abuse in each one…the worst part of it is the way it’s left me feeling…i have no confidence in myself and i’ve never been any good at making friends…i only have one which i see around every few weeks…the way i have been feeling is just getting worse and worse so that i dread even getting out of bed in a morning…i hate the way i am…i see people surrounded by loads of friends who are confident and out going and enjoying life…i just can’t be like that…i would give anything to be able to meet someone who understands how it feels to feel so down on themselves all the time…i wouldn’t say that i’m suicidal as i would never be able to do that to my kids…but on the other hand i wish something would happen so i don’t have to put up with the way i feel about myself…is there anyone else at all that feels this way?…sorry for the depressing first post but i just feel like i need someone to talk to who won’t judge me

[Anonymous]

Hi cherub

Welcome to the forum you are not alone . Everyone here including my self has had abuse after abuse. I never trusted men hun they target the weak and vunerable like my self.. my abusers used me too boost there egos. Ive seen every red flag now!. Iam.busy healing myself after another abuser.. no more now . Ive felt rock bottom many times but iam a warrier like you .. love your self hun love your kids . You will get strong. Take all the advice and help … hugs x*x

[Anonymous]

Hi there, lots of us know how you’re feeling, so please don’t feel ashamed. It’s great that you feel ready to talk about what has happened and how you feel. Unfortunately the only advice I can give is to keep plodding on and trying new things to try and bring you out of yourself. I really hate how I feel and sometimes really wish i could escape all the feelings I have. In order to cope, especially with the loneliness, I’ve taken up little hobbies that I can do alone but which I can take pride in, such as sewing and crochet. I hope this helps

[Cherub]

Thankyou both for the replies…i am trying my hardest to do things to cheer myself up like joining local groups and the gym but i always end up feeling worse…everyone else seems so confident but i’m so self concious but will still try to make to effort to talk to people but it never leads anywhere…people all have their groups of friends and i just feel like a sad loser standing on the sidelines…i just wonder why i bother trying…i really do feel low at the moment…i feel like i’m just going through the motions…i’m so stuck in my head and just can’t see a way out…i just don’t want to carry on…i even tried booking an appointment with the doctor but he’s booked up for a month and the only one i feel i could talk to about how i’m feeling…i feel so lonely.

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