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    • #136308
      LucyLou
      Participant

      So my partner of (detail removed by Moderator) years turned out to be abusive. Some of his outbursts include spitting in my face, threatening to smash a glass (detail removed by Moderator) over my head – along with other (detail removed by Moderator). Saying he’s going to slit my throat while i’m asleep. That’s along with putting his hands around my throat & the usual pushing & shoving. Most if this in front of our then (detail removed by Moderator) yo
      The last incident was again the pushing & shoving & then throwing lit cigarettes at me. I called the police for the last incident and they arrested him.
      He was very angry that i’d called them & he said he was nearly put inside for a few years, because he’s had previouse assault accusations from his previouse girlfriend! That he denies.

      He & his family are blaming me for this new r3cord he has, as it effects what jobs he can do. They all think i over reacted & i’m too sensitive, as he’s never actually punched me!

      I don’t want to find out if he rely will hit me sonetime in the future!

      Inbetween all of this, he’s actually a really nice guy, but it’s scary living with such a volatile individual. He no longer lives with
      me!

      He has a huge family & they all help with my little one when i work, bit i think that will mow change. My family are a hoid (detail removed by Moderator) hours drive from me.
      I feel very isolated

    • #136312
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi, he’s not a really nice guy. He’s a manipulative domestic abuser. He may pretend to be nice because he knows if he’s nasty all the time you would have left. Google the cycle of abuse. His family are victim blaming and enabling his behaviour and I’d be cutting contact with them and reassessing where you want to live. Contact your local women’s aid. If you must have contact with his family then be very careful. They are taking his side. The side of a violent man who abuses you and commits child abuse. It may be time to think about moving back to your family where you can get support. His family are wrong. There is no excuse for domestic abuse. You are not to blame for any of this x

    • #136319
      Auriel
      Participant

      If he was abusive all the time you wouldn’t have stayed as long as you did, it’s done to confuse you/make you feel grateful and furthering the trauma bonds and maybe to get something he wants, he’s threatened some pretty scary things! who knows if he would have carried them out or not, you had a lucky escape, his parents didn’t experience see or feel what you did and probably have a deluded version of him, you know what you know so did the ex, don’t second guess yourself or feel guilt for this, he is a grown man and responsible for what he does and if his behaviour affects his future it’s on him. 🧡💜🧡

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