- This topic has 21 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 9 months ago by
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Yay! Fresh air for you to breathe at last. Well done you.
When you are up to it, are you able to repaint your place to make a new start? Even moving the furniture around, a new throw or cushions for a sofa or a poster for the wall can make a big difference.
I find getting a new smell into a room makes a big difference; could be a candle or reed diffuser or even just the clean smell of furniture polish.
Make it yours again and enjoy it!
Flower x
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Yay! My ex’s stuff went a couple of weeks ago too. He’s trying to make out he didn’t get (detail removed by moderator), but I know it was there. He has absolutely nothing I want and I’m glad to be able to use my spare room again. I think his family finally get that he’s not coming back.
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Great news! Excellent, good riddance to bad rubish indeed!
Celebrate every day…remember how this feels, to be free of him, of how complex and exhausting every single minor interaction can be. How laden with abuse, and trickery and gaslighting, and take strength from having escaped it!
Wonderful news, keep on with the hot chocs!
🍵 to you both! 😊
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He’s still ranting about the missing item when he can, but I ignore it. He flatters himself if he thinks I care enough about him to want to keep anything he owns. And if he is so sure I’ve taken it, he can report me to the police. I knew he’d go down this route and told the police he would when he first left.
Decorating every room in the house this year and loving having my own things back out.
ER, it really is the small things you feel most happy about, isn’t it? Weirdly…..
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Actually, being able to live a life not being caught up in his conflict is great too. Can open the mail and the front door without worrying what will result, being able to talk to family, friends and neighbours and not having to put up with his toot everywhere.
The controlling behaviour felt worse for me than the physical abuse and I hated feeling like an intruder in my own home. I owned the house and 90% of what was in it, but it felt like the other way around.
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Hope life joy, here’s a ridicolour thing. …. I had a lovely olday red kettle which I loved. When we moved away, he told me he hated it and didn’t want it in the house, so hid it. I found it after he left and it’s now back in place on the stove.
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I have my whole family here for a barbecue this weekend – could never have happened with him around. I used to spend most of my time avoiding him, even to the point of sitting in my car with a blanket all evening (and it’s my house). I was never allowed to watch anything on TV that I liked. Now I sit in my house watching what I like. And I’m not paying for everything either, so I can afford to treat myself to some things. Even buying a coffee was out of the question when he was around. He smoked heavily and was an alcoholic, so affording anything for me was out of the question.
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Oh wow that’s fantastic, I’m so pleased for you, some normality back in you life.
It’s just ridiculous how abusers don’t enjoy life and decide to make it a misery for everyone. He will die eventually of lung cancer or alcohol poisoning for sure.Time to open the champagne and celebrate your weekend with your family, you claimed your life back! Cheers and have a great great time darling. 🍾👏
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Other small things; If something isn’t working I can get someone in to fix it. Or, and this is a biggie for me; I can throw it out! No-one to have a sulk that I thought they weren’t good enough to fix it or put it back together. They couldn’t fix stuff, and never even got around to glueing a broken ornament back together for example.
I have a skip full of defunct or broken gadgetry, and taken apart bookcases and cupboards that were wrenched apart so badly they’re cracked etc. (detail removed by moderator)
The TV channel doesn’t get chosen for me any longer. Seriously, if he was going to bed he’d change the channel from his war or conspiracy theory documentaries to a cooking programme channel or similar, as apparently, that was my ‘level’.
I can eat 3 chocolate biscuits from the packet and know they won’t all be gone by later in the day.
There are no slogan mugs in my beautiful oak display bureaux.
I went for a promotion interview not having been kept up all night the night before, not having been made late leaving, not feeling stupid and dull, not having had a fight over a nothing and being on the verge of tears, and actually feeling smart in the clothes and makeup I wore.
More to come lol….
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How about being able to post here and text and ring whoever you like without him looking over your shoulder and/ or trying to grab your phone/ tablet?
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