- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Have been reading about ‘hoovering’ which I think is what my husband has been doing. On (detail removed by moderator) I mentioned I was thinking we should separate. Since then he hasn’t said anything about it. But he has been super Dad (detail removed by moderator), but mostly towards my older child. It’s making me crazy. And what about the other 2 kids? He seems to have forgotten about them. Had several days without any arguing/incidents. Feels harder today, I’m doubting myself. Please someone remind me this is all definitely part of it
-
Hi Sungirl,
Please don’t doubt yourself, you are absolutely right that this is part of the abuse. It’s the honeymoon phase/ hoovering bit where the abuser fears he’s being found out or has pushed you too far and so turns on the charm to draw you back into the abuse. It’s as much a part of the cycle of abuse as the abusive incidents themselves. He trying to manipulate you into doubting yourself and changing your mind about leaving.
Pretending you said nothing about leaving him and acting like everything is fine is also calculated to make you doubt yourself. Be very careful, he is likely to escalate if he suspects his Mr nice guy act isn’t working. Your silence towards him is your power, tell him nothing of what your thinking or planning. Your mind and thoughts are your own.
You got this, trust your gut.xx -
-
-
Thanks everyone, yes I was given the number of my local WA last week but I just can’t get myself together to call them. I don’t know why. Part of me just doesn’t want to believe all of this and I’m thinking I could just carry on and it’s not too bad most of the time. But I need to think about the kids, that’s what I need to do. I’m so worried they’ll hate me, my oldest is (detail removed by Moderator) years and he said yesterday that I shouldn’t hold a grudge against his dad, I should just forget it and move on. I know he doesn’t really understand though and he just wants us to be together and be happy. I don’t think I can be happy with him though
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
