Hormones: what next?

[littlemixedup]

Yesterday I sobbed all morning, went out for lunch, sobbed on the way home and went back to bed. I then got up at around 4pm and feeling better got sone house jobs done. Today I feel like my soul has been ripped out.I feel so low. My boyfriend doesn’t really get emotions and so insists on making jokes then becomes agitated when I don’t find him funny. He is lost with me. I think I’m going through the menopause and I’ve wanted kids for over 10 years. I didn’t have any with my ex as it didn’t feel safe enough and my current boyfriend says as I’m at uni it’s not a good time (he already has a child). I had ill health before then so we couldn’t even do the deed let alone allow pregnancy. Now im stuck, my body is giving in on me and I am so lost in life right now. Too many s****y things getting in the way. I’ve made some c**p decisions and now I’m paying the price. I want to stay strong but it’s getting very tough now.

[Falling Skys]

Hi and hugs

Re the menopause will be worth you going to the doctors they can test and support you if you are.

I’m sorry if you wanted children and haven’t had them, all I can say is that mine have been used a stick to beat me with and they have abused me as well. The awful thing is I wish I never had them.

We have all made bad decisions, I try to think everything happens for a reason and that our future will be better.

I am going though the menopause and I am making this my time, I do what I want, I have new hobbies, new friends.

I have off days when everything seems to much but I get over it and keep going (I thank god for this site and the support it gives)

FS x

[littlemixedup]

Firstly, so sorry about your children that must be tough. Sending big hugs your way. Stay strong.
I’ve thought about the doctors before but I dread them telling me I missed my chance in having a child. I have a counselling appointment tomorrow so im hoping they will offer something that will help more permanently than past counselling has. I want to stop this dragging that pulls me down. Like you I try to treat myself and I will continue to.
This forum does offer support, I’ve learnt much about what others are going through and people offer some good advice we can all follow.

Sending love and hugs x*x

[starchild]

I can also support others in respect of there response to you wanting children and the reasons why you havnt had them.

I understand both the personal emotional need for wanting a child and then also the body’s need to reproduce and that innate feelings that must fill you with.

However like the others here sometimes not having children is a blessing, as likewise with the post above, mine have been moulded and managed and manipulated to treat me in a way that is both disrespectful and abusive…. and initiate and follow through the same public putdowns and humiliations.

[littlemixedup]

Thank you starchild. I have just been reading the ‘familial abuse’ forum and i am shocked that peopples children have turned/been brain washed into hating them. This has really nipped my ideals in the bud. I will try and get my head around things. Think I need to learn to enjoy what I have.
I am sorry to hear you have all had/are having a terrible time and send you much love to keep going xx

[deathangel]

Hey littlemixedup. I am one of those who has gone through early menopause. It took two years for the blood tests to confirm what I knew already (no periods, irritable, not sleeping well, hot flushes/sweats, etc)…this as well as the abusive relationship, my son turning into a teenage nightmare (copying the abuse and being all teen angst, not doing well as school, being disobedient, using bad language towards me), abusive partner’s teen daughter attempting suicide…gah! It all seems like too much. I have opted not to do the hormone therapy as I feel the risks of certain things are too high and I would rather cope with my chillow pillow and multi-vitamins and other herbal remedies. Your body is not giving in on you, it is essentially doing what it does cyclically as a woman (unless like me yours is particularly early) The doctor should send you for blood tests and when finally confirmed, if it is menopause then they will give you all the information you need, including links to alternative solutions. Don’t jump to conclusions as stress can mess with your hormones and your health as you probably already know. You are strong and take each day as it comes and if that is too much of a stretch, take each hour of each day as it comes and live in the moment. Sending you positive thoughts, even though it might seem like the end of the world.

[littlemixedup]

Hi Deathangel thanks for your help. I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I’ll probably go to the doctors after my exams in couple of weeks. Yes life does get too much wth issue after issue. I’m glad I found this place though even to let out a rant or 3 helps.
Take care xx

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