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    • #20445
      teatime
      Participant

      I just got a vile post directed at me on a group I belong to by the administrator. The previous discussion was fairly bland and I thought humorous. She accused me of being b***hy to her and needling her and said how much she disliked me and always had….I don’t know her. I’m a (detail removed by Moderator) and post there.
      I was so shocked I felt ill and have not been able to get up all day.
      Thing is, my ex introduced me to this group like it was a really special thing he was doing for me.
      I rang him to ask what he had said and he said he hadn’t said anything about me.Seems coincidental since it’s the day after we split up.. she may just have picked up I was fair game from his mr’misery’ posts.
      He is an old misery and now I have left he is showing his true colours.. I was only ‘lovely’ while I was with HIM.
      I couldn’t cope and left very gently he doesn’t seem to care about anyone but himself since they told him he was being tested for a really bad illness. He never stops smoking so what does he expect?
      Glad I left before it was too late.It was only a few months in so I’m learning.

    • #20447
      KIP.
      Participant

      I came off all social media. It’s just not worth the triggers. Try to stay away for quite some time. No contact with your ex too is a must for a speedy recovery. FB can be traumatising. That’s how I found my ex was cheating. His girl friend who he was cheating on me with changed her profile pic to him and her! How he thought he’d get away with it I don’t know. Looking back it was just another horrific form of abuse. Stay well away. Just email close friends etc x

    • #20448
      teatime
      Participant

      I will stay on FB but Ive put him on restricted so he cannot see my posts and I have started my OWN (detail removed by Moderator) page. I get lonely without FB, it’s survival as well as problematical. I will also heed your comments just in case I do have to come off altogether I’m also sorry for your experience that sounds hideous

    • #20452
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I blocked the ex on fb and unfriended all the friends that we shared together whilst I was still in a relationship with him.
      He was in contact with hundreds of (detail removed by Moderator) on fb, all women who had naked pictures he was friends with and they showed very explicit things. He was always on that. It was very humiliating for me to see what he did on fb.
      Now he can carry on, with his conviction and DBS entry and low life.

    • #20484

      Dear Teatime, my view is the most painfree way by far is to block him and every single person that he knows. I have just accidently seen a comment my ex had made 2 years ago on a photo on FB, it has unsettled me for the last hour, seeing his name. You having any ties with him or anybody he knows is going to be so difficult for you. Its upsetting at first but you soon get over it. My world on FB has opened up since I got rid of him & all his cronies. I’ve joined all of these groups that i’m interested in so I am developing my interests in other areas, and i’ve still got FB!

    • #20495

      Dear Teatime, I am having flashbacks after seeing his name last night on FB. This was accidental. I feel it is crucial to your wellbeing to completely block all involvment with your ex and everybody that he knows. I know it can be hard, upsetting and maybe there are people you would have liked to have stayed friends with. These people, maybe in the future you can be friends with them again.But now it is imperative to cut them all out, on all forms of social media. FB and social media is dangerous for messing with your mental peace of mind. XXXXX

    • #20519
      teatime
      Participant

      Sorry I was not very clear. My ex is not an abuser. He’s selfish though and maybe not as nice as I had thought- and I left because I cannot cope with his depression or health issues or my doubts.
      I didn’t fall into this puddle…
      I have two former exes who were abusive and ths split up is not nice because loads of former issues for me are being triggered

    • #20779
      teatime
      Participant

      But now I am having doubts.He’s actually vindictive.Which he said he wouldn’t be. He posted about how my love was not ‘unconditional’ and he didn’t get the love he needed and because of this he was all alone. he made me ill with stress!
      I answered him back and his flipping cronies and then blocked him.
      It actually doesn’t matter how old they are they are little boys throwing tantrums.

    • #20785

      Dear Teatime, my view is that Facebook & all other social media, hotmail/Whatsap etc, are really dangerous for your emotions when you are in the thick of an unhappy relationship or have parted. I know that it is hard to accomplish, as these sites these days are where the majority of people get their social life. But with the ex and his associates it all gets nasty & damaging for you. I completely deleted and then blocked every one of his family members. It took a while but I did it with him as well. The reason behind this is because for me to see what he is up to, even just hints or innuendos would have hurt me so much. As well as frightened me. Technology these days makes it easy to completely erase people (this is what he has done to me). Please believe me that this will give you the emotional breathing space to start to put things back together. Facebook is such a wonderful tool for opening up new horizons. I realize that the new ‘friends’ I have now acquired on FB are not really friends, but I enjoy looking at & sharing interesting pictures & quotes, there are some really fun things that come around. You can have a bit of a social life from FB just because he is not part of it it means that you can open up new horizons for yourself. X*X (detail removed by Moderator)

    • #20795
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi TT

      FB can be a wonderful place where you can share and chat, but also there are negative people that make it a forum to cause upset and distrust. Just remember that could be chatting to people that you wouldn’t talk to in the real world.

      Also you say you ex isn’t abusive, but from what you have written he does sound it.

      FS xx

    • #64090
      teatime
      Participant

      When I posted this… some time afterward my ex died. He was very ill.

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