- This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 11 months ago by Twisted Sister.
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1st June 2019 at 8:54 am #79696AnonymousInactive
I tried to find out how many long my daughter attends an after school club, that my ex who is not her father but holds PR has put her in. I just wanted to know, (detail removed by moderator), and they said that the arrangement they have is with him so they can only discuss it with him. I feel like punching the walls.
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1st June 2019 at 9:07 am #79697KIP.Participant
That would be my question and if it’s court ordered then perhaps you need to go back and change that court order. Things change, people change, children change, circumstances change. Get women’s aid to support you. Or your MP.
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1st June 2019 at 12:32 pm #79715fizzylemParticipant
This isn’t true unless it is in a court order. You also have PR so you also have a right to this info. If this is the case, I would write a letter of complaint about the person withholding this info to someone higher up in the organisation and point this out x
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1st June 2019 at 12:44 pm #79718FlowerchildParticipant
He doesn’t have more say; he has equal say. This must have been sensible while you were together, lot you wouldn’t have agreed to it, but it makes no sense now he’s your ex, unless he is sharing her care and she’s living partly with him.
If not, I think it might be time to change this so he loses parental responsibility entirely. The reasons you parted are probably good reasons for him to lose control over your child.
I think you need some quick legal advice which you might find for free in the .GOV website.
Flower x
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1st June 2019 at 5:03 pm #79739Twisted SisterParticipant
Nodding here to flower, remove PR from ex.
He only has this if he’s applied for this and youve agreed it. Based on your [abusve] experiences he loses control of your children
Fight him, and if you need free specialist legal advice call Rights of Women.
Warmest wishes
TS
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1st June 2019 at 10:43 pm #79760AnonymousInactive
I didn’t agree. Social Services said I was a neglectful parent, due to bad childhood. It was said he should have PR to protect the child.
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1st June 2019 at 10:45 pm #79761AnonymousInactive
the child does live with him one week each fortnight.
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2nd June 2019 at 8:47 am #79779FlowerchildParticipant
Hmm, that is more complicated. You might have a harder time getting PR removed from him, but you could find out how to get started.
Good luck, darling.
Flower x
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2nd June 2019 at 9:05 am #79782Twisted SisterParticipant
Do contact rights of women for free specialist advice. They can explain what you can or can’t do.
If they were so concerned about you causing them harm surely he would have them the majority of the time.
It doesnt make sense to me that him having PR makes any difference to possible ‘neglects’ by you?
Let us know how you get on. Have ss offered you support? Perhaps courses to address what they see as a problem?
You have pr too, so the school have no right to keep you out of decisions like hours your child is kept in school. Is it on the day that he has overnight? Do you have concerns about that, is your child supposed to be with him instead?
Do keep posting and working through this.
Warmest wishes
TS
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2nd June 2019 at 10:14 am #79798AnonymousInactive
He set up an after school club, not long after he was given what he wanted. I wanted to know how long she is there to prove that he is not parenting my daughter – a child that is not his. He told professionals he was a father figure to her, they have a bond, and went right back to giving her to others to look after, separating her from her sister. (Real role model)
I don’t trust Social Services, because they are the ones that chose what was to happen to my kids – and threatened that if I do not comply or show signs of deterioration that the girls should be given to him (hence the PR)
Why would a sexual controller/coersive person apply to have a child, if he is just going to give them to after school clubs?
Sorry for ranting… I guess this week has been a long one. I am also a bit obsessive over the fact that he (pervert) kept going on about the girls learning about stranger danger at a school meeting and I am told that I have to rearrange a docs appointment for my week, even tho they applied for PR of my daughter.
Its like… you see documentaries about people that kill women, and they are lovely people on the outside, saying “supportive” things, to mask their true intentions. Yet in life, “professionals” actually don’t see dangers, they support them, then years later go… umm nothing told us this person was a danger, or concealing stuff for their own purposes.
I mean, why would someone not tell TAC meetings, or the mother of the child how long she goes to afterschool club?
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2nd June 2019 at 10:26 am #79800Twisted SisterParticipant
Dear Tysonsfurry
Yes, i hear you.
Their [abusers] actions are not about being with their children but about the mother not having them or the children being away from their mothers influence.
Abusers have to drive a wedge between any relationships their partner has and those with their children are the most powerful.
I would raise all and every abusive behaviour to authorities. Men who coerce and abuse should definitely not be in such positions of responsibility.
Keep fighting for their protection.
There is also a ruling that I was made aware of that contact time was for father (not someone else) as that is prioritising others over childs close relationship with mother. If he cannotanage contact (and ships out care to a third party) then child stays with mother.
Warmest wishes
TS
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