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I tried to find out how many long my daughter attends an after school club, that my ex who is not her father but holds PR has put her in. I just wanted to know, (detail removed by moderator), and they said that the arrangement they have is with him so they can only discuss it with him. I feel like punching the walls.
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He doesn’t have more say; he has equal say. This must have been sensible while you were together, lot you wouldn’t have agreed to it, but it makes no sense now he’s your ex, unless he is sharing her care and she’s living partly with him.
If not, I think it might be time to change this so he loses parental responsibility entirely. The reasons you parted are probably good reasons for him to lose control over your child.
I think you need some quick legal advice which you might find for free in the .GOV website.
Flower x
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I didn’t agree. Social Services said I was a neglectful parent, due to bad childhood. It was said he should have PR to protect the child.
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the child does live with him one week each fortnight.
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Do contact rights of women for free specialist advice. They can explain what you can or can’t do.
If they were so concerned about you causing them harm surely he would have them the majority of the time.
It doesnt make sense to me that him having PR makes any difference to possible ‘neglects’ by you?
Let us know how you get on. Have ss offered you support? Perhaps courses to address what they see as a problem?
You have pr too, so the school have no right to keep you out of decisions like hours your child is kept in school. Is it on the day that he has overnight? Do you have concerns about that, is your child supposed to be with him instead?
Do keep posting and working through this.
Warmest wishes
TS
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He set up an after school club, not long after he was given what he wanted. I wanted to know how long she is there to prove that he is not parenting my daughter – a child that is not his. He told professionals he was a father figure to her, they have a bond, and went right back to giving her to others to look after, separating her from her sister. (Real role model)
I don’t trust Social Services, because they are the ones that chose what was to happen to my kids – and threatened that if I do not comply or show signs of deterioration that the girls should be given to him (hence the PR)
Why would a sexual controller/coersive person apply to have a child, if he is just going to give them to after school clubs?
Sorry for ranting… I guess this week has been a long one. I am also a bit obsessive over the fact that he (pervert) kept going on about the girls learning about stranger danger at a school meeting and I am told that I have to rearrange a docs appointment for my week, even tho they applied for PR of my daughter.
Its like… you see documentaries about people that kill women, and they are lovely people on the outside, saying “supportive” things, to mask their true intentions. Yet in life, “professionals” actually don’t see dangers, they support them, then years later go… umm nothing told us this person was a danger, or concealing stuff for their own purposes.
I mean, why would someone not tell TAC meetings, or the mother of the child how long she goes to afterschool club?
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Dear Tysonsfurry
Yes, i hear you.
Their [abusers] actions are not about being with their children but about the mother not having them or the children being away from their mothers influence.
Abusers have to drive a wedge between any relationships their partner has and those with their children are the most powerful.
I would raise all and every abusive behaviour to authorities. Men who coerce and abuse should definitely not be in such positions of responsibility.
Keep fighting for their protection.
There is also a ruling that I was made aware of that contact time was for father (not someone else) as that is prioritising others over childs close relationship with mother. If he cannotanage contact (and ships out care to a third party) then child stays with mother.
Warmest wishes
TS
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