How can I apply to the council for housing safely

[SunfloweSeed23]

I need some advice please. After a number of years in a verbally abusive and increasingly controlling relationship I’m finally done. I tried to leave in (detail removed by Moderator) but emotionally I wasn’t strong enough.
I was unable to go into a refuge due to my son
And i was told to go to a housing provider by the domestic abuse service only it was in the building (detail removed by Moderator) where i lived so froze and wouldn’t go for want of being seen by neighbours and it being fed to my partner as to why i was there. I had a few appointments with my caseworker – had to attend the freedom programme which as I missed 2 appointments as I had to be at my daughters school to sort out issues there due to what was going on and attend CAMms wasn’t allowed to finish. I’ve since completed it online.

I’ve yet to approach another service I work full time, have 30 mins lunch and wonder when I will be able to meet or take calls.
I live with my partner it is his house. He constantly threatens me – wanting me to leave – but doesn’t really
I feel incredibly vulnerable.
I sold my home (detail removed by Moderator) years ago to move in with him
Worst decision of my life
Now I’m left wondering how I fill in forms for a council house without him finding out – How do I navigate this?
Can I even get a council house and I know lists are incredibly long
I can’t afford to rent
I also have a dog and

I have my job so I can’t just leave the area
I am looking for another job
I feel stuck

I’m also trying to make a safety bag but no where to put that
I well and truly isolated myself

This is my second abusive relationship – I was still in the aftermath of the first when I fell for the second.
It’s the frog cooking slowly in the hot water. Enjoying the pond and not realising it. Or not in my case wanting to admit I’m there again.

Thank you

[browneyedmum]

I have so much adoration for you and what you’re facing.

I don’t have all the answers, but I have a few ideas for options:

– re: Safety Bag, I learned that the primary school that one of my children attends hold safety/escape bags. It might be worth a phone call to your child’s school to speak with their pastoral care and see what options are available. Obviously, this isn’t the sort of thing that’s advertised on a school website or in a newsletter.

For myself, while my ex was still living here, I have a credit card that he has no access to and so I bought what was needed on that credit card and had those shipped to my child’s school’s pastoral person who has safely stored all of those.

In addition, pastoral care + school’s SLT have offered to be available for a cuppa and a rant any time I need.

– re: Work, get your colleagues involved to support you through these changes. Everything that is happening is only temporary and will go faster, given the right support. I’ve had more meetings that took me out of working hours than I like thinking about. However, with working with my line manager and my colleagues, they’ve provided cover and I’ve provided some flex back to them in exchange. Some companies offer additional support via HR, and again these aren’t largely advertised. It sometimes surprises me that DV is so common, companies have had to come up with ‘quiet policies’ to support valued employees rather than lose talent and expertise. Go ask about your options there. Go without shame, because as I said, its shockingly common.

– I don’t know the process at all for Council Housing. However, maybe Citizen’s Advice can assist there.

– Obviously, it is wisdom to not accept a spot that is across the street from where you currently live, as that puts you at further risk. Again, perhaps bring that up to the Council and mention that to Citizen’s Advice.

Finally, overall… it can seem so over-whelming… everything that needs to get sorted. Break it down into smaller, more manageable bits. And look after yourself xX.

[sweet4]

Hi same situation as me, i have contacted (detail removed by Moderator), i now have a case worker, i emailed the council housing dept, they replied,saying my case worker has to fill out a form and send it on to them, so thats were im at, just go onto the Council website, look under housing and email them, telling them you are a victim of abuse. Do you have a case worker?

[SunfloweSeed23]

Hi thank you.

i don’t have a caseworker sweet4. Is it my understanding from your advice – thank you very much – I have to have a caseworker first?

Sorry I’m replying to two threads at once here I was trying to find the messages.

Browneyedmum thank you, it sounds like you have a very supportive school and workplace. I’ve been holding off telling anyone at work because of the feelings of shame and worry’s about lack of confidentiality.

[Lisa]

Hi SunfloweSeed23,

You shouldn’t need a caseworker before you can apply to the council for housing. Councils in different areas work differently though and sometimes it can help to get advocacy from your local domestic abuse service if you have any difficulty with the process. If you speak to your council, either call them or many have online forms you can complete or an email address, you can make an application and disclose about the abuse. There are special rules that apply in cases of abuse which mean they should support you into safe accommodation.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[SunfloweSeed23]

Thank you Lisa for your advice. I’m feeling a bit exhausted at the minute. Like I know I have the mountain to climb I’m just having 5 mins before I start.

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