How can I persuade him to leave?

[marmite3]

My husband has been emotionally abusing me for several years, with shouting and belittling name-calling and comments. I have asked him to leave, as I want to buy him out of our home. I am still working, but he is retired, with various pensions. The trouble is he isn’t leaving. He drinks all day, frequently cursing me in front of our child, who is terrified of him. I have asked him for his solicitor’s details, and pension details, to move our separation on, and I have offered to help him look for a house for himself. How can I move him out, if he won’t go? If I try to talk calmly to him, he says he won’t be ordered about by me anymore, and starts screaming that I am talking rubbish and that I am nasty and bullying. I am at a loss how to move on. I cannot seem to have a conversation with him without it quickly degenerating into screaming and abuse, which he blames entirely on me because I am apparently evil. After years of this, I am beyond weary. How did we end up like this?

[Marmalade]

You probably won’t be able to persuade him to do anything.
If you are married or house in joint names he has a right to occupy the house until the financial proceedings are finalised.
The only way to get him out is with an occupation order. They are draconian remedies. You will need to get legal advice on whether or not you have the grounds for one. If you are in the middle of divorce proceedings and are planning to buy him out then you probably have a solicitor so ask if they think your circumstances are sufficient for the court to grant an order. Some courts will only grant if there has been violence but it depends on your individual circumstances.
Good luck.

[Hereforhelp]

Hi, unfortunately Marmalade is right… he isn’t going anywhere.

If the house is joint you will need to apply for an occupation order.

I am long term married (separated now and divorce is in progress). I went to see solicitors in my area for free 30 mins advice. You now have an option for no fault divorce, this is a new law so your partner cannot stop you Divorcing him. I found the hard part making thise calls wnd seeing solicotrs without my husband’s knowledge, I am so glad I didn’t tell him now as he would have sabotaged it.

Also, if he is verbally abusive to you or your child and either are afraid of him could you ring the police? You do not have to live this way, you or your child ❤ well done for reaching out x

[Bananaboat]

As others say, you won’t be able to persuade him sadly. Save your energy for focusing on you and your plan, get some advice, start to come to terms with the possibility of leaving that house and starting afresh as he’ll always see it as being his.

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